The grad show for my seniors is being held soon, opening on the 10th of June. It drives home the point that the road I am on has an eventual end and I am to strike out on my own after that. Somehow, it hasn't sunk into me, I feel. Looking at the mention of their works, I worry about my own.

I like what I do and I have no qualms about joining the industry as such. But I worry whether I am good enough. I feel I need to produce work of better standard. That I am not achieving anything at all. My CAP isn't that great. Hanging out with some of the top scorers in my class does not make me feel any better at all. It makes me wonder about the standards about my work. I need to push myself harder. I felt this way after I received my results last semester.

Granted, there was improvement, but it is not enough. I need to keep this thought in mind and push myself further and outdo myself. If not, there is no way things are going to improve. I have to do better than this. So many people did well. Why can't I be just the same? If it comes at the expense of my life and social interaction, then so be it.

Yes, CAP is not everything. Precisely that is why we don't have a bell curve. Your grades are the actual reflection of your work. Your work is key because it's what you need to show people. And my work is...not enough.