Yes. I feel so relaxed for once. I don't have to contend with other people or anything. Sometimes you just want to do stuff alone, you know? I just went to the supermarket and spent a leisurely hour plus browsing the aisles, exploring the different kinds of food, and slowly picking out my choice. With others I can't do that! I feel pressured to not take too long cos they are buying things also. I can't take time to ruminate over the decision to try buying beef salad (this yummy looking gooey paste) at 2.29 for 750g or the super budget 1.69 for 1kg. I feel like I can slowly make a decision at my own pace rather than be reminded at the back of my head that other are also making purchases.

Sometimes I feel so pressured. I sometimes wish I came here alone. Sure I probably would have gotten turned around quite a bit, but to do things alone now feels so refreshing and easy. Always being in the same group is starting to make me feel suffocated and restricted. Maybe it's being with the same people everyday, especially now that we've been around each other for 3 years. Then we hang out in school even though we have different projects. And then you make noise about being alone.

But....being alone is also a nice time to have personal time. Which I feel I lack these days. Furthermore, we all have different projects and different workloads, we're busy and have different schedules. It's not always that we can make time for you. And because of this we feel pressured into thinking its our fault you are alone. Its not that we didn't invite you, you were busy at that moment and so were the rest! All this is just making me feel guilty and I don't think I deserve it. Our workloads and schedules are different!

Sometimes I want to do what I like. Like hang out at a party more, listen and meet different people. But then it's not your thing so you keep pressuring me into leaving. I don't really want to just yet (free food and free beer!) but then I feel like am obligated to because I am your friend. And that obligation is making me waver between doing what I want to and to follow you. And if I don't, I will get the guilt trip about being alone again. This is why I feel so pressured so much to choose friendship over my own preference.

I never thought shopping alone could be so therapeutic, but I guess it really is. I need time alone. But I also kept quiet about it. I think if you guys knew you would make noise about me doing this/bojio/anti-social. But is it so wrong to want to just do stuff by myself for a while?

Highlights of the day:
Super commercialised Trappist beer (I know, but whatever) at SGD$1.40 a bottle. YES. SUCK ON THAT SG.
Loaf of bread at SGD $1.12
Roomtoetje at EU 0.17 or SGD$0.28. 200ml of chocolatey dessert YEAH.

Spent SGD$30:
Toilet paper
6pack Trappist beer
500g onions
75g salad
200g peanut butter
loaf of bread
De Ruijer (Super Dutch bread topping)
2 x roomtoetje
1kg beef salad
250g butter
2 x pork chop

Bucket list done:
Throw a house party
Visit Italy
Eat cannoli in Palermo
Cycle in snow