I'm down with a killer sore throat. Zzz. Yesterday was very tired. Think it's because of the commands and the hot weather and because i haven't been drinking enough water.

Days have been pretty tiring. And my sore throat is really taking it out on me. Nothing much interesting is happening. I knocked down people today..haha.

CUPS

Speak, memory,
that I may not forget
the taste of roses
nor the sound of ashes
in the wind;

That I may
once more
taste the green
cup of the sea

-Daubmir

I'm sensing the onset of a headache, most likely caused by the hours spent staring at the computer screen, and the hours of anime I have watched. I can only do so much to entertain myself these days. My books, and my laptop, and me. I have an on-off thing with my PSP, and it is currently off. I wish I had a larger MP3 player for all my songs. My head hurts.

I have brought this week's copy of TIME to read in camp, though I am weary of all the drivel about the economic crisis. Is there so much material? My head hurts. I have 2 more novels to read. My bag is big and heavy and I have to book in early. Should I register for my driving now? Can I get away?

Hey-ho. Another week to go. One solid block of 5 days. What I want is to talk. Talking's good. Last week was a killer. So busy, so many things. Things to talk about, things to bitch about. I just want to offload and unburden myself. It was interesting. Just to sit back, relax and unwind. Is that so hard? So many things happened. I just want to vent some of that frustration and maybe share experiences with others and let the cycle of conversation flow away.

Yet I find no listening ear but my own. It's fine, I'm cool. I'll just deal with it myself, like I used to. I did it once, I can do it again. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? It's of no use talking to those people inside because they've "been there, done that" with me, no less. My secondary sch friends? Not that interested. It is that hard to find a good listener these days? What does a person have to do to get a decent conversation now?

Talking is good. Especially when some things cannot be posted online. Like which person's throat you'd like to feel in between your hands. Ha-ha. Thing is, this is the picture. Life is 2D right now. In camp. Out of camp. It's not like outside, where at the vey least, you life can be vibrant, and multidimensional. In here it's black and green. That's why we need to vent, to release some of all the pent up emotion within after storing it for 5 days, navigating this cramped narrow maze of alleys.

To savour that multidimensional life for a while. And to glimpse others' and to offer them a glimpse into yours. So that maybe it's rub off on you. A little. I don't know what I'm writing here, but my headache seems to have faded.

...and I just didn't want Ilse to be hurt. I thought she was going to be. But everybody gets their share, don't they? Sure. Pow, in the nose. Pow in the eye. Pow, below the belt, down you go, and the ref just went out for a hot dog. Except the ones you love can really multiply that hurt and pass it around. Pain is the biggest power of love. That's what Wireman says.

-Duma Key, Stephen King

---

Pause.

Rewind.

Play.

Welcome back. And the tape rolls on and on. As we say. As we always say. Suck thumb. And keep on trucking.

Vroom.

"The world had teeth and it could bite you with them anytime it wanted."
-The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, Stephen King

Woke up at 240. Slept almost 12 hours straight. I usually wake up at 11 plus. I must be damn tired. Watched tv for a few hours till now. Don't know what else to do...lucky I drank coffee before watching the movie last night. I simply KOed when I went to bed... Hope next week will be better than this. =S

Back. Pretty tiring week. Load of stuff happened. What I blogged yesterday was the gist of it. Was DS and duty platoon today...I had to get the help of all my other specs to do things. A whole lot of tasks. Had to divide and conquer. Was glad to finally bathe at the end of the day. That makes 2 times my smart 4 has been soaked in sweat for almost the whole day and 2 days I haven't bathed until the latest possible time at night.

Very glad to book out. First DS duty and I marched the entire company to book out. This week has been a killer. Things all flying towards me. CDS, with the non-stop sai kang and phone calls, then I chaged clothes and went to the mess only to help stand in, and by a cruel twist of fate, did it for hours and while something bad was going down.

Then straight on to more sai kang then to teach. Then today DS, and to be duty platoon. In charge of 5BX (not done due to rain), clearing rubbish, all the OOCs, and marching the company out. Buy busy busy. I daresay I am most likely the person who did the most this week and also that this weekend was well-deserved...

Oh yeah, I just watched Fanboys with YM and th twins. Was quite funny. Haha. And I think I got a blister underneath my foot. If I can't take it on Mon I'll report sick. Must be from all the constant boot wearing.

so much has happened. I've been as busy as hell. Dam tired. Sigh. Will blog more when i return home because on this phone it's a bit difficult.

Had a busy time and a lot of work as cds, then got time to change clothes and go mess when i got off duty. Came back to stand in because i was the only one in the office.

Huge load of work. Something happened. Then i had to stand in till 1plus. Set up water point. Took part in lesson. It's not stress or anything, it's just the huge amount of work i did in such a short period of time. I really think i did the most these few days.

Just very tiring. I think i answered the phone about 50 times. And i'm not even working in a call centre! And that was my call centre on a moderately busy day.

I'm the ds tomorrow, and we're the duty platoon. And i think i'm conducting 5bx. This has just been a pretty bad week for me. So much stuff flying my way.

what a day. CDS today. Did a lot of various task. Arrows arrows arrows. =S sweated a lot. Think i stink. Zzz. So much crap. Phone kept ringing.

Thought it would be a brief respite from the men but i ended up just running a lot of mundane tasks. I missed "First Blood" today; the first knock it down.

Just waiting to get the last thing done and over with,take a much needed bath. I can't scroll down this frame! Can't blog properly.

[UPDATE]
Watching anime. My stream stopped buffering right in the critical moment of one of the critical episodes. WTH. =.= Can go and buy 4D le. KNS.
[/UPDATE]

SUNDAY. Woke up today, went to Compass Point to return my books. I finshed Duma Key. It was excellent. Very creepy, very well-written, very fresh. Very tragic. A fine piece of work. Plus, it kept me entertained in camp for quite a while. Well worth reading. I signed up for mobile internet on my phone.

After all, no more nights out for the next few weeks or months. =S Plus we'll probably be quite busy too. Might not have time to do down to the mess. Now? Maybe I'll watch some anime, then go pack my bag. Sigh. This weekend before the course passed by so fast. Time always flies when you're having fun. One concert and one movie later, the weekend's almost gone.

Today was quite alright. Read at home. Went to meet ben at PS. Walked to Cathay and back. Met up with XW and had dinner. Watched Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Was quite funny. Haha. Had fun. =) Pictures are on FB. Tomorrow's Sun already. =S

"...at first you were afraid you'd die, then you were afraid you wouldn't."

-Duma Key, Stephen King

Hi guys. I'm very tired, but I'm back. Missed you all. Anyways, pioneers are coming this week, so I won't be able to go for nights out anymore. Just a heads up. =( That's why this week I didn't return home. Did a LOT of area cleaning. Really over the top. A lot of stuff happened, but I won't type it out here. Especially when the new course is coming in. Sensitive, perhaps.

Nevertheless, Tues I went...went...I can't remember where I went. Sigh. I'm totally wasted. Thurs we got stuck in a jam on our way to the backwoods of Singapore. Woodlands. No offence. LOL. I don't go there much. Make that once a few years. Our days have just been spent doing heavy lifting, cleaning, and setting up of stuff for the new course. Lifted until my tshirt was totally SOAKED in sweat. =\

Just very exhausting, physically and mentally, even with say, 7 hours of sleep, because we have to throw in regular PT on top of several hours of cleaning and preparation. Today, rushed home (thank goodness for a slightly earlier book out) and showered and had dinner and went to UCC by cab. 20+ Jeez. =\

Oh well, met ben, wandered around before the concert. I enjoyed it throughly. The script was good, the plot interesting, the chraacters interesting, and the dances nice. Tried to surprise XW after the concert. Tried to. Apparently she came from a direction we were not expecting, and she saw us first. =( The first thing I saw was a white blur heading towards ben. Lol. Nevertheless I was glad to have made her so happy. =)

She went to bedok later, so we decided to wait for tak. Left left because of the time, and she probably was tired too. Maybe meeting up tomorrow for breakfast? I hope I can wake up. The fatigue is in very part of my body. Uni uni uni. After all the happy talk of ORDing and going to uni and how much I can't wait, I wonder...

Today was the first time I went to a university in months. Maybe a year plus? It's so big. So vibrant. So...so scary. The irony. For all my morbid talk about BMT, one year on I'm here worrying about university. It was, I dunno, culture shock? Its a whole new world. Full of brand new things, new experiences, and there is, a fear of the unknown. Of commitments to be.

I've looked over the edge and all I see in fog. Endless, endless fog. What will happen when I get to the jump? It's so big. So full of possibilities. New people. So FREE. So MUCH FREEDOM. I's something I crave for, yearned, and have not experienced in a very long time.

I think I have forgotten what it's like to live life according to your own schedule, not under someone's thumb, not to be in fear of punishment if you are late or fail to turn up. (I'm referring to booking in) A place where your royal arseness' presence is not legally required to show up before a particular time.

I have forgotten what it's like. And I'm afraid. What will it be like? Could my incarceration have stunted some aspect of my social growth? What if I'm a FREAK? What if I can't interact with people? What if I cannot make friends? I don't want to spend my uni life ALONE sequestered in one corner.

It's just so, so big. I want to try staying in hall. Maybe I want to try and see if I can handle the commitments. Which one? What should I do? Can I make it? Can I juggle it? What if I miss my course's orientation and end up without friends. WHAT? What if I end up hiding in my room, emergining to do stuff so I can stay there? What if I can't take it? What if I SUCK? So many choices. Or should I stay in a hostel. More me-time, more time to study less commitments but more expensive. I need to save money.

HOW? I've spent so much time with people making all my choices for me. What clothes to wear (HAHAHAHA =.=) what to eat at every meal, what to do, where to go. What if I'm stuck. Can I make the correct choice. XW seems so happy there, but she always seems so busy. What if I end up not having time for my own friends? I'm am resisting the urge to swear.

Dammit. I think I'm just really really tired. Sigh. I shall try to sleep. And maybe wonder about what the future hold. Oh goody I just realised all the complicated processes required for this and that. WHY AM I THINKING OF THIS NOW? 10 more months plus OKAY.

Freedom. I still want it. It feels right. Some nights, I lie in bed thinking of the people outside. I want to call my friends, yet I'm afraid I'll disturb them. In the end I settle for a bout of tossing and turning before my restless sleep, as the night carries me away into a jumble of incoherent dream images and the spotlight burns ever steadily through the window of my bunk.

[UPDATE]
After listening a few times I realised that 十年 song is sooo emo. =( But it still sounds nice...lol.
[/UPDATE]

The boredom is killing me. =\ Sian. Wish I could go out today. Got duty tomorrow. Just go out and have fun and play till I'm tired and chiong and then just book in and sleep. But I'm stuck at home. I have a craving for chicken soup but I'm too lazy to make it. Instant noodles not filling enough. My PSP not attracting me. Wanna save my novel for in camp.

Facebook dead. Think I'll go watch some anime. I considered sleeping but it's such a horrible waste of my weekend because I'll get enough of that tomorrow. I think someone accidentally took one of my brown t-shirts in camp. =.= Ass. Still not happy with the new arrangement. Let me take some time off to complain.

First off, one night I came back to my bed and saw a PSP charger on my bed. =.= Even if you use my bed as a shelf when I'm not around, at least have the decency to remove it when you go to bed. Don't just LEAVE IT THERE. And it was still plugged in. As I lay down, I found a 2-pin plug adapter under my pillow. WTH. Both items went on the floor.

After charging, they simply unplug their PSP and handphones from the cable and leave the chargers plugged in and ON. It is that hard to reach out and unplug the damn thing? My ex-bunkmates never had that problem. Especially with all the warnings and cautions we get against leaving our stuff plugged in and charging unattended. Sometimes, we don't charge our stuff because the charger is in and on. Guess what? It's NOT connected at all, actually.

Let's not forget a fire happened in this camp ONCE BEFORE. At least take some responsibility for your own things. I think leaving a charger plugged in and on and unconnected is more dangerous than unattended charging. Jeez, after just buying your new PSP you want to turn them into little catalysts of fiery destruction? You are all 20 already.

Oh, and please think a little. With the adapter plugged in and with a 2 pin slot AVAILABLE, NOOOOOO you have to switch OFF my hibernating PSP to put in YOUR adapter and YOUR 2 pin. Thank goodness I last saved, dammit. It's not rocket science, ya know? Sigh. 10 Months and 28 days to go.

[UPDATE]
Just watched Departures. Was quite nice. It was touching and funny and sad at times, and it reminds you of the fragility of life. I suppose for a movie about death, it had to have quite a bit of humor to lighten the mood. But it was certainly quite a movie. I am suddenly addicted to the song 十年. Hmm... =\ I was thinking of something that sounded like it, and by chance just heard it on the radio one day, and found out its title.

Haha oh yeah, saw something interesting! Today appears to be send-a-NYJC-girl-home-day. LOL. Waiting for the bus, I saw one guy walking this girl home. When the bus came and I boarded, I saw him run for the bus but it ignored him. Suay. Then after alighting from the bus, I saw another guy sending another girl home. o_O
[/UPDATE]

Was a long and dark December;
from the rooftops I remember;
there was snow...
White snow...

-Violet Hill, Coldplay


Back. Today rained! No sunning of pillows. Took a little nap in the afternoon. ^^ Wonderful weather. Had stand by bed =.= because of those who came back from ATP. Wonder if will be able to go out tonight or not. Hope so. Nothing much interesting happening. Life pretty much revolves around me in camp and me at home. Books, MP3, PSP, Facebook.

Finished Dean Koontz's Twilight Eyes. Not one of his better efforts. The ending wasn't even an ending at all. It seemed to cut off abruptly...I half suspect that the library's copy of the book is missing a few pages. Though the last page does seems to indicate the end of the chapter.

Started on Duma Key by Stephen King. Probably going out to watch Departures tonight I guess. Life has settled into a comfortable old boring routine. Book in, blah blah blah in camp, do sai kang, go for nights out, book out, FB, read a bit, play my PSP, maybe go for a late movie on the weekend, or out with my friends (hopefully, now that everyone's busy with this or that at times) and trawl for music that catches my ear.

Bury me in honour;
when I'm dead and hit the ground;
A love back home it unfolds.

If you love me,
won't you let me know?

-Violet Hill, Coldplay

Still lovin' Coldplay's Viva La Vida which I just got. It has a very chill, mellow tone to it that is veyr easy to listen to and quite a few nice songs. =)

"So echooo echo out loud..."
"SO ECHOOO ECHO OUT LOUD..."

Dawn was breaking. K stood at the parapet of the 4th floor, observing the new batch of commanders' course trainees just returning from their morning run. The faint sychronised singing rang out through the clear silence of a morning yet to come, yet it did not seem to ruffle the silence and overall calmness of the dawn. It occurred to him this shouting complemented the scene quite well. Shaking his head, he went back to his bunk.

Yesterday didn't do much. PSPed on my Phantasy Star. Getting along fine. Today was a novel day. Just read my novel. We did shift down all the pillows from the pioneer bunks, and sunned them for a while. Tomorrow we will sun the other side. Er. Oops. We returned the pillows to the bunk by loading them onto bedsheets sideways. Which is the other side?

Well, I sure can tell why people might develop an antagonistic attitude towards new trainees. After all the cleaning that you need to do. You take n, which is like 1/5 the number of people(m) who will be coming, and ask them to clean the rooms and beds sufficient for m.

This involves a WET washdown with the required equipment, spraydown of the beds and cupboards, brooms to remove most of the dirt and dust, and copious amounts of water. Let's not forget the stairwells. Also, n people moving m number of beds DOWN 3/4 floors and then UP 3/4 floors. And bringing down m pillows today and up again, repeat again tomorrow. A lot of effort.

Fortunately after that, nothing much else for today. Before the pioneer course comes in, we must all seek refuge in these calm moments of peace and tranquility, get respite from the work that is sure to come. We will probably be rushed off our feet the Monday after.

"Some of us have always lived on edge, Daniel. It is possible to survive there if you observe rules: Just hang on by fingernails...and never look down."

-Rorscharch,Watchmen

Me back. Noone has been tagging much recently. Everyone must have their own concerns. Oh well.Mm nothing much this week. Read my library books, played this new RPG that is the craze. Phantasy Star Portable. Quite fun. Apart from that nothing much else. Need to edit some lesson plans. Pioneer course in 2 weeks. Inevitably coming closer. Today means 11 months to ORD and tomorrow will be 11 months SINCE army. Lol. HALFWAY THERE. I just simply cannot wait. Can't really think of what else to type. Kinda lazy to, in any case. =\

And in any case, I am damn bleddy anooyed that I most likely can't go for Ben and Jerry's free cone day because it is on a TUESDAY. ARGH. Zzz. I remember having like 3 or 4 of them before. =( Oh, and my blog and Facebook are taking forever to load. WHAT THE HELL?!?! OF ALL PAGES them both. DAMMIT WHY. =.=

Think I fixed it. Stupid Google Chrome acting weird.

Visited Singapore Flyer today. Took train to City Hall, waited very long for shuttle bus to flyer. (Note: 30 min intervals) Went in, went through the security checks. Nice place. Maybe someone thought terrorists would blow the wheel off the spools, and send it rolling through the streets of downtown Singapore, leaving a trail of absolute mayhem and destruction in its wake.

Boarded the Flyer. No one blew the wheel off the spool. Touch wood. Took many pictures. Nice ride. Very scenic. Realised I spent more time taking pictures than appreciating scenery. Considering going with the Ms again next time. Good idea. Disembarked. Had fun. Went to Marina Square for dinner. Secret Receipe. Not bad. Irish Lamb Stew. Yum. Went Compass Point. Borrowed books from library. Quick blog. Need to book in soon. Blogging like Rorscharch. HAHA.

"Appreciate your recent support and hope world survives long enough for this to reach you but tanks are in east berlin and writing is on wall. For my own part, regret nothing. Have lived life, free from compromise...and step into the shadow now without a complaint."

Rorschach
November 1st 1985

-Watchmen,Chapter 10

Just watched Marley and Me again. It was sadder the first time. =X Anyways, I didn't expect to go out today, nor did I Friday, so this week's been full of wonderful, pleasant surprises. ^^ Went down to Vivo to meet Ben and Tak. They got the tix for MnM. Val joined us with her sis after. Did I mention I've been running on 3 hours of sleep since last night, or rather, today morning? =S

Had a delightful dinner over there, and then went down to buy drinks. We entered 10 mins late but the show hadn't started yet. I had fun tonight. Haha. Miss everyone. =) Oh, I finished Watchmen, the graphic novel. Am interested to see how the movie will turn out. What happened to Rorschach was regrettable. =( He was one of the most colourful characters. I also see why they said it was 'unfilmable', the whole story is like a huge rope of tiny story threads, all interlocking and very complex.

Violence, gore, some nudity, yes, but quite a good read. Enjoyed it.

Pictures on Facebook!

Played with Midnight on the way back. Dunno where's Hitler gone. She actually rolled over on her back for me, like a dog would. Anyway,she's a girl. I just had this feeling she was. Lol. Later she started batting at my hand.

As they were walking on a path across an empty field to take a cab on the other side, Tak suddenly looked up.

"Oh! You can see stars!" She stopped and started gazing up at the heavens. K looked up too. After admiring all the stars awhile, they started walking off.

"That must've looked weird. Two people suddenly stopping in the middle of a path with people and then looking up. Haha." K commented.

"Really? Did they also stop and look up too?" Tak asked excitedly.

"No, they were looking at us."

Back! Got home late last night. Went to Tamp for our platoon cohesion which was like what we do at lunch, sitting in a row in smart 4, except that now we're eating Macs. The car arrangement was screwed up so we took Jin Rong's car down to Selarang. Safety day...a lot of lectures. They didn't cater enough food either. After that went down to Tamp Mall for Pastamania.

As we were leaving, tak called me a bit too late since I had eaten, but I went down to clementi to find her. Lucky I had my MP3+Watchmen. Haha. In the end, there was no kimchi ramen to be found at clementi, so we took the train down to Jurong East, where she finally satisfied her craving. No movie theatre either. Lol. So...we cabbed down to Vivo. OH. And while crossing the road to Jurong Point, we noticed this expensive sleek sportscar drop someone off on the other side of the road. Which happened to be a guy. =S

He was crossing the road too, and OMG as we got closer I saw it was Benjam! o_O What a coincidence. Not only of time but of place! From Clementi looking around to Jurong East, I ran into Benjam after seeing him at safety day hours ago at Selarang. Life is indeed mysterious.

Because apparently we cannot watch movie in uniform(=.=), I went to buy an entire new outfit OMG. Hahaha. This outdid the last time when I bought a black t-shirt to go into an arcade in J1. I got 2 t-shirts from the Gap($30 off if above $150) and a pair of Jeans. And then I got a belt. Besides I had been thinking of getting a new pair of jeans/belt for a while now. Spent like $176. =X

Went down to the theatre to find out that actually we were watching Suspect X at 0030. Which left us with plenty of time. We ended up wearing the same colour top by coincidence cos I bought an orange one. Lol. Lazed around at Starbucks, and she studied stats while I read Watchmen. How useful. ^^

Later went to watch the movie. I didn't expect it to be so long. It was quite interesting. Another one of those genius VS genius things. Though I wish the ending diudn't have to be so depressing. It was quite a spoiler as a few seconds before I thought it would have a bittersweet kinda optimistic ending. =S

And I need to get back money people owe me. Rar. To cancel out my spending. And pay is coming in 3 days! ^^ And I can't wait to watch Marley and Me with the Ms next week. Wonder when I'll get an occasion to get my guitar.

Pictures on FB! ^^

Anyway I went to sleep soon after cos I had to waek at 7 for my BTT, and I was indeed a little nervous. Because a -touch wood- on this would mean a waste of money AND time because I'd have to wait for a next slot. Thank goodness. Haha. I arrived early, ran in the rain, and took my e-trial. 96% ^^ Went for the test next. It all seems to have happened so fast now. PASSED. Delightful orange words. Hahaha yay. I think I will take my FTT and use its 2 year validity to slowly practise driving, and with a PDL.

If all goes well, I may get my licence by the end of this year. Now...all I need is a car. By the way I love this song. It's now my ringtone. This is quite possibly the coolest music video I've seen. Love it.

Back. Had half-day off today because of some safety day tomorrow. Past week has been alright. Doing some really heavy duty area cleaning. Used our equipment to wash down pretty much half the building, not including the staircases. Lol. Very tiring work. Nothing much else. Went to play LAN today. cohesion LAN. Left 4 Dead was fun. Haha.

Then had dinner at Chinatown before going home. Actually the place was quite er...horrid. The outside, that is. There was a KTV downstairs and the lift led to the KTV, so we could only use the stairs. Then we had to climb a small narrow stairway to the LAN shop and the stairway smelt like piss. If the lighting were worse, you'd be expecting a mad axe murderer or a psycho doctor to pounce on you and steal your organs.

Tomorrow, going to Tampines for lunch also because we have safety day at Selarang Camp. I wonder if I should wear civilian and change or just go in my smart 4...=S Wearing one of those makes you a walking target board for any minor misdemeanor. Even more so than school uniforms I believe. It just screams HI! LOOK AT ME! I AM A PERSONNEL OF THE SAF! DO TAKE PICTURES AND POST THEM UP ON STOMP IF YOU SEE ME DO ANYTHING NOT TO YOUR LIKING.

Oh well, at least I get to go home today. I think I will end up wearing my smart 4. And thank goodness I borrowed the Watchmen graphic novel from David. Haha. At least I've got something to do on the bus ride. I can't get a ride from Quan Yi. Darn. Nothing interesting I guess. Except for Hitler. The kitten at the foot of my block. Haha.

I call him that because as a black and white spoted cat, he unfortunately happens to have a little rectangle-ish blob on the end of this nose which makes him look like, well, Hitler. And he looks pretty fierce so it kinda suits him. In fact, I'm not even sure Hitler is a he. =S Either way, he is very nice. I first saw him as a tiny kitten running around, and now he's a little bit bigger.

He allows himself to be touched by people, and likes to go up against me. Tuesday, on my nights out, I stopped to pet him a bit, and left because I was on nights out. Turns out I went out for dinner with my parents later and he bounded up to me when he saw me. ^^ While playing with him on the way home, his sibling turned up.

Pure-black, and similar size to him, Midnight. Against, I don't know if Midnight is a he or she but it appears to be more timid, but came to me and allowed me to touch it when it saw me playing with Hitler. Midnight has much coarser fur. I was having so much fun with them circling me. Midnight went and bumped Hitler on the face, like kissing. So cute. Saw Hitler again today, and he followed me around a little.

Just now my internet was down. Rawr. Of all nights, the one when I'm out early. Luckily I fixed it. I feel like doing practice for my BTT but I'm sorely tempted by Watchmen. It is good.

[UPDATE]
Amidst all the hype and the fact that the you-know-whats and tomorrow, I decided to go for a peek at my archives. It is immensely interesting. I was so depressed, so emo in the days before. Positively downright depressing. I've changed. So much. For the better, I like to think. Reading my posts regarding that Date, it brings back memories. So many memories. I like this paragraph.

Later, Val and XW went off in her dad's car, ben, tak and I went off. Then ben went off ,saying he was going to CP, so I left with tak. Neither of us wanted to return home, and Pasir Ris park was a little far and we couldn't think of anywhere nice near our homes.

So we went back to school. Yes, school. When we finally have nothing to do with it anymore, we still return back to it. The sad thing was that there were no muggers. I miss seeing people mug. I will return someday, perhaps.

So poignant, the past is.
[UPDATE]

Back. Didn't do too much today. Just commanders learning day. Recap on all our equipment, messed around with something that was probably worth like a few cars in the parking lot outside. Which is a LOT. Lol. Uh, we had a muster parade, or so I think because I was standing in for the orderly in the office. We also drew out one of our equipments to help tidy up the bunks in preparation for the new intake. All I can say is...WOW. See we have this mosquito nets installed over our windows, and over time, a thick disgusting coat of dust covers the net.

But with our super industrial strength equipment, VVVVVOOOOOOOOOMMMM dust gone. Not all gone,but at least we can finally look at the corridor from the bunk. That is how thick the dust was. I could actually suck out a visible smiley face in the net through all the dust. All I can say at that we are VERY lucky to be in this unit. Imagine removing all of the dust by broom or, gasp, HAND. This piece of equipment is indeed the best for the job.

Ah. Bored. Nothing much. Well, visited my grandmother at TTSH today. I think it's a lung problem. Since I was on leave, so well, decided to go down. Can't remember the last time I've been there. The atrium is really nice, and with all the F&B shops it resembles a shopping centre. Kinda.

In any case, my grandmother is doing fine, when I first saw her she was walking to the toilet so my mum and I caught up to her. My and I stayed till 2, end of visiting hours, and 2 other aunts came. I realised that nursing is not what it seems. I think. The following post is a little graphic well, not really but may be kinda disgusting, so turn back if you want.

In one of the other beds was an old woman, restrained with a tube down her nose. Apparently, from what I could hear, she had somehow managed to remove the thing. So, they had to put it back. Now I've seen pictures of dead people. Severed limbs. Cracked open heads. Brains across the floor like so much minced meat. People blown to bits by bombs. People shredded to bit by bombs with flayed strips of skin.

But there was something about the piteous moans and groans and gurgling and the whir of machinery coming from behind the curtain that unsettled me quite a bit. My mum chose that moment to come up to me and offered me fat juicy red strawberries that my aunt bought. Being unable to think of any polite reason to reject it on the spot (I was distracted by the gurgling), I took one.

I was thinking "Don't you hear it too? =SSS" And with that I bit into the wet and sweet juicy strawberry with that gurgling coming from behind. Thinking what great timing it was. =S The same kind of thing happened in secondary school. During biology, the entire class made disgusted noises and squirmed at pictures of foetuses and embryos while I marveled at the wonder of life and the vaguely cute fish-like future human floating around with the cute black eyes.

I was discomfited by the later pictures of STD-infected organs whereas the entire class behaved as though they had been looking at pus-oozing genitalia their entire lives. Maybe I'm weird. LOL.

The Window

[UPDATE]
Wow this is my 911st post. Anyway I'm bored. Spent my time surfing the web and Facebooking and I dunno what else to do. Boo. =(
[/UPDATE]

Sometimes all it takes is a little something for you to slow down and take notice of the things around you.

So I'm bored at home, I don't know what to do. I see that it's raining on the horizon so I snap a picture. Its an odd rain; it's falling straight down with a clear border where it stops. Like someone just boxed off an area and clicked the rain button. Then I realised how nice the stormy sky looked. And truly appreciated the privileged view from my window. The world is laid bare before me, and I can see to the ends of the island.

Besides the huge area of sky, I am also afford a 170 degree (Thanks to condos on the right) almost-panoramic view of Singapore. To my left, I can see IKEA. Only the A is visible now, compared to the full word in the past, thanks to a factory. Ruined it. I can see the spire of Changi Airport's control tower in the convenient gap between two HDB blocks, and I can safely say it will stay that way for a while.

I can see winding roads and highway with all their neat markings and lights, and I can see endless acres of greenery, forests, and trees stretching to the horizon. I can see Paya Lebar Air Base and the jets that take off from there. I can see a winding river, the Sungei Serangoon, home of the occasional waterskiier; now spanned by the new bridge and highway over it. I miss the wide expanse of shimmering water beneath.

I can see the glimmering lights of the Singapore Flyer, but where have the blue lights gone? I can see the city area, see the skyscrapers of all the businesses reaching up for the clouds. And then, I see endless fields of HDB estates, various coloured concrete blocks covering the landscape to the horizon, a miasma of reds and whites and pastel in a jagged seemly chaotic mix of shapes, tall, short, long, big, small, a various mix of sizes splashed across the land.

The white and green spire of a church rises into the sky amidst the trees, adding a touch of peace to this chaotic and seemingly random mix of urban and jungle, land and sky, earth and water. Next to it is Punggol park, a little enclave, tree surrounding water that is the little lake(?) in the middle. Even as I write this, the skies are grey but the water from the river is strangely reflective, shining with light.

To top it all off, the vast expanse of sky, home to the many birds in the area, the occasional kite or miniature airplane and helicopter. The haven of the various jets that twist and maneuvre above. Also the canvas of heavens from which we view its various moods.

A clear blue sky, flecked with fat puffy amazingly beautiful clouds earlier transforms into a solid grey mass with looming thunderheads and rain pouring. I can see lightning spear various locations on the horizon, jagged white streaks of power reaching down to touch earth, followed by distant rumble of thunder. Impressive.

Such is the view from my window. But of course, it will be lost when they build that condo on the field opposite my house. For now, I just have to appreciate it while it lasts. The land is still for sale by the government, against all my hopes, and while it's still a field, it's only a matter of time. Only a matter of time before they build away my view.

[Click to enlarge]