CUPS

Speak, memory,
that I may not forget
the taste of roses
nor the sound of ashes
in the wind;

That I may
once more
taste the green
cup of the sea

-Daubmir

I'm sensing the onset of a headache, most likely caused by the hours spent staring at the computer screen, and the hours of anime I have watched. I can only do so much to entertain myself these days. My books, and my laptop, and me. I have an on-off thing with my PSP, and it is currently off. I wish I had a larger MP3 player for all my songs. My head hurts.

I have brought this week's copy of TIME to read in camp, though I am weary of all the drivel about the economic crisis. Is there so much material? My head hurts. I have 2 more novels to read. My bag is big and heavy and I have to book in early. Should I register for my driving now? Can I get away?

Hey-ho. Another week to go. One solid block of 5 days. What I want is to talk. Talking's good. Last week was a killer. So busy, so many things. Things to talk about, things to bitch about. I just want to offload and unburden myself. It was interesting. Just to sit back, relax and unwind. Is that so hard? So many things happened. I just want to vent some of that frustration and maybe share experiences with others and let the cycle of conversation flow away.

Yet I find no listening ear but my own. It's fine, I'm cool. I'll just deal with it myself, like I used to. I did it once, I can do it again. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? It's of no use talking to those people inside because they've "been there, done that" with me, no less. My secondary sch friends? Not that interested. It is that hard to find a good listener these days? What does a person have to do to get a decent conversation now?

Talking is good. Especially when some things cannot be posted online. Like which person's throat you'd like to feel in between your hands. Ha-ha. Thing is, this is the picture. Life is 2D right now. In camp. Out of camp. It's not like outside, where at the vey least, you life can be vibrant, and multidimensional. In here it's black and green. That's why we need to vent, to release some of all the pent up emotion within after storing it for 5 days, navigating this cramped narrow maze of alleys.

To savour that multidimensional life for a while. And to glimpse others' and to offer them a glimpse into yours. So that maybe it's rub off on you. A little. I don't know what I'm writing here, but my headache seems to have faded.