OMG it works! It works! The internet here is pretty screwed up. So screwed that I have seen an instance of Mozilla Firefox performing lousier than IE. Amazing. Where FF cannot even connect to any site at all, IE works fine. Like wtf? Retarded. Anyways, had quite a bit of extra time today, so we're all slacking now. The company ordered pizza. Dunno when it's coming.

Well, the program was changed, so no 6k run in the morning, but there was still a 4k run in the afternoon. =[ Still got plenty of tests to finish. Just wanna get rid of them all. Most likely a nights out tomorrow, but most liekly I may not be able to go.

One thing about here is that time seems a LOT longer, for some reason. I also end up missing my friends more. That coupled with the less regular outings makes it seem as though I haven't seen my friends in a very long time. I wish we could go back to before (sighs), but things are changing. Seems that the fears voiced before my enlistment are being realized.

Despite all the people around me, and the fact that my section is one of the funniest bunch of slackers, life here seems increasingly solitary. No answered or returned calls, or replied messages. Even if you're busy, surely once in a while you could just at least reply one sms ot return a call? Its like we haven't talked in so long, and our circumstances only make the situation worse.

Basically when I run, I've got nothing to occupy my mind and all these thoughts come flooding out to poison my mind. And let me tell you it's not very motivating. For any burst of speed, instead of thinking of people out there who support me, I think that I am all alone here forgotten, and all my friends have deserted me so I can just run until I just collapse or something because nobody gives a fuck about me out there anymore.

Or maybe it's a mid-NS crisis. midlife crisis in an NS context. Being stuck here and forced to live such a live, initially I can adapt, but for such an extended period of time, I'm starting to be unable to take it after a while. Or maybe it's my perspective. Am I asking for too much attention? It all seems very long to me, but in "outside" time, maybe it's only been what? a week or so? I don't know. Maybe someone with an "outside" perspective can help me on this?

Because all I'm getting are unanswered calls and unreplied messsages, and it seems like everyone out there knows something I don't. What is it? What did I do? And why? Maybe I'm being too sensitive. Maybe I'm thinking too much. I only know all I want to do is to talk to my friends, to interact with them, and I'm unable to do that. And being "inside" is simply screwing up my perspective. Just pull me out, open my eyes, and let me see. What exactly is happening here? Becuase I don't know myself.