What to do when you're stuck on a project? Spend 3 hours quietly doing readings at Starbucks. Then go home, open up a bottle of Johnny Walker, a can of coke, mix liberally, and everything will feel better.

Terrible, terrible news. Today's exercise is showcasing our work to the other groups and then we got to grade each other. After performing well in the first similar exercise last year, this time my group is ranked 9 out of 11. FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUU this is bad. Very very bad. We need to buck up. I am declaring a state of emergency. We need reinforcements.

I need to focus. Recently I can't help but switch off whenever other groups go on because there are just so many of us. This can't go on any further. It stops here. FOCUS. FOCUS. FOCUS. WAKE UP AND LISTEN. I need to get my head in the game and start listening and picking up on others. With luck we might be able to get back in the fight. This is not the standard I expect of myself. This is downright pathetic. Knowing the other groups below me they're gonna get a kick out of the results too. We're not going to be the only one fighting to get back in. We need to save ourselves.

I am utterly disgusted with myself. I set so many goals and targets and at the first review by everyone else I bomb. Failure is not an option.

Had a fun day meeting up with friends I haven't met in ages! =) School has been tiring me a lot lately, so I was really tired today as well. =\ Probably still adapting back to less sleep at night. Need to try and not spend so much this month! After USS and spending about 80 on clothes (retail therapy), combined with people tending to eat at not-cheap places, I'm about to bust my allowance for this month and it's not even halfway yet.

When I was earning money, I didn't spend that much. Now when I'm short on cash, there's so many things I wanna buy. Some extra clothes, a replacement pair of earphones (after I drowned my standard Apple Earphones in the washing machine so many times, it's half broken), and I've been wanted a Bamboo tablet to draw on. Or a Intuos! (ZOMG) But yeah, something like a medium sized Bamboo with pen input might help in digitising sketches?

Anyway my birthday is coming soon so I guess that's an opportune time right?

Jeez it's just a damn status update.

YES. I am going to sleep.

YES. It is ONLY 140am.

It is in relation to the fact that I am damn tired after having spent the whole first Saturday of school working. I've pretty much been working on the one project for like 12 hours in total today. But sure, you are probably 9000 times worse off. Still, not like I am going to do it everyday. I know, I know, you archi students are the long suffering kids who don't get enough sleep and work through hell, etcetera. I totally understand that and I can sympathise to a certain extent, but don't take it out on me for crying out loud. You chose this path, and I'm not your punching bag. Neither do I want to argue with anyone right now.

You said it yourself, everyone is tired! Okay?

Imagine:

630am. You are waiting for a bus on your way to another boring day of school, when a guy runs by and proclaims: Holiday! Time for me to sleep in everyday! Yay!

Is that something very wrong?

First day back at school and I am tired already. Soci was ok I guess. Only I have a heck of a lot of readings to go through. =X Did not see anyone I knew till the end of the class. As I left I think I saw a primary school friend who tried to get me into a dubious MLM a year back. (is there anything like a non-dubious MLM?) Of all the people from primary school, secondary school, JC, army, and hall I have to come across, it had to be this fucker. He didn't notice me however, thankfully so I went on my way.

First studio session and I am feeling very lost. Maybe I am rusty from 3 months of inactivity co we have to work with people we have never worked with before. I'm not feeling the chemistry. There's no general direction. One of the new poly students is in my group. Not sure how they work either or if I appear really lousy to them. =\ Hopefully things will pan out in the coming week. Can't wait for the weekend. Gotta get through Friday first, and get my readings done, as well as picking a tutorial.

Those sociologists write really sleep-inducingly.

Well, amendment: Today managed to be sorta productive as well! I suddenly remembered the used textbook forum and that I had to get my Soci text. I logged on but the first few posters had sold theirs so I camped there for a new posting. Didn't buy the $20 one, but got it and a coursepack for $22 which is not too bad. Spare coursepack can be kept in school or something. Also but put up a posting for my old Marketing textbook, untouched which I stated in the title. Booyah! Sold in a few minutes. =)

Sociology class tomorrow. It's going to be interesting, I hope. I'm gonna be going in all alone, up against something new. I guess you could call it a fresh start. And maybe, it is kinda nice to be somewhere where nobody knows you. You get to be totally anonymous and unburdened by any preconceptions or opinions. You are no one, just another face in the crowd. Two hours of anonymity, quiet learning. This place where you are unknown...gives me an odd sense of freedom.

School is starting soon. Tomorrow to be exact,considering today is Wednesday. Am I looking forward to it? Should i be looking forward to it? New modules, new classes, new things to learn. It's going to be a new, terrifying new semester. New students in class, the very "imba" poly students who will pretty much own all of us. It's a brave new world, and a very scary one at that. I have to go into it and hope for the best.

Something I don't even know what the hell am I doing.

And I had to pick a mod that starts on Thurs. Damn. So I gotta head down to school earlier than the rest of my class on Thursday for my Sociology lecture then get down to SDE. 12 to 2 soci, then 2-6 studio. Wonder whats in store for soci. Also I'm gonna be attending alone. =\ Need to leave the house at 1030 too, so I have to wake at 930. On the bright side, I have a 4 day week still I guess. Gotta aim for a good tutorial slot!

I just need to get away from it all.

Having a really really awful bad headache right now.

So. Bidding for round 2B is over, and thank goodness the demand for SC1101E did not exceed the supply for it! So managed to get the module at 1 point. When you're allocated as little points as we are in SDE, you try to conserve it. =X So I can sorta treat this as me saving 111 points than if I'd gotten film. I do look forward to seeing the films my friends make though. Haha. And do sorta wish I'd know what film would I have made.

BUT to make this 1 point worthwhile, I need to remind myself to do my best and do well for this mod. I know there's a way to fit opportunity cost in here somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can remember. Last time I touched econs was in '07. So instead of film, I'll be doing the introduction to sociology and I have to make sure I can do it. So ladies and gentlemen, here's to me being a good sociopath!

Oh. That's not the word I'm looking for right? Must be watching too much Dexter. It is bloody good.

Sigh. Nothing is going right. You soldier on, you keep going, and try to bear the weight of it all. You try to grin and bear it. But thing keep falling apart. How long can you keep going? To be the master of disguise.

Failed my bid for SSA2218, Singapore film. By 10 points. 10 fricking points. Now I have to resort to bidding in round 2B just because I was stupid enough to think I was safe with 102 points. I should have just dumped in all my chips and gone all in. So now I have to contend for one of the last few slots in a class with all the Arts people who have a shitload of points to play with. I can only hope I get it and I'm damn afraid I'll blow a lot of points on it.

Way to go, gambling the rest of my education on that stupid 102 points. If I had been smarter I wouldn't have to go through the stress and tension of these two days until Thursday. And even then the nightmare is not over because I still have to see how many points will get me that class. Fuck man, seriously.

And then I thought I would be able to go to this Microsoft event on National day and get the chance to shoot some firework photographs. But I only saw the post at night after checking Facebook. And there are only 50 places. BUT they said they would keep the form open and close it after they maxed out. But they LIED. I happily signed up and only found out today that it was already full. So, FUCK. Another disappointment. Again. Great. Brilliant. Outstanding. IF only I had had a chance to sign up earlier but NOOOOOOOOOO. Everything is NOT. GOING. RIGHT.

Please. Give me a better start to year 2. I need this.