Haven't had time to blog! I stayed in school from Monday to Wednesday. My reward now is that I actually managed to finish my handle early and can actually come back to my room to sleep before final submission. That must be a first. Not only that, I still went to find XW and ben for dinner. Feeling a bit sleepy so I shall go off soon.

I've been working long hours these few days, and only slept 2.5 hours on Monday night. Because I that, I fell asleep while sanding at 3am on Tues night. Woke up with the wooden block in my hand and pain in my ear from lying on the hard table. =\ Literally sand until fall asleep. So I slept 5 hours that night. Today managed to finish off my handle in the early evening so I decided to leave and take a break. Tomorrow will be my final submission, wish me luck!

Oh boy. Things are getting confusing. =( Even though there's less stuff to handle now, everything is rushing in, all the deadlines and stuff all in the same period and EVERYTHING is equally important. I have given up on prioritizing different tasks because they're all about the same. Now it's all about which deadline is earlier. Sigh. Next week is going to be hell. Let me get everything sorted out.

On Monday we have ergo and remotes, so I have to finish my remotes by TODAY, or else there won't be enough time for us to finish. Ergo is also in progress too. By Tuesday, I have to finish my sketches and my marketing assignment. So I had better try to do my marketing by TODAY as well. Sketches, not so urgent. Wed I have modelling so I have to start on Mon when the wood arrives. So Mon I have to work on my model + finish sketching. Thursday is final submission for my handle!!! So in between all that I have to work on my handle. Where do I find time? Maybe Mon or Tues or Wed. It's like there's not enough time to finish attending to everything.

It's like you're standing in the middle of a crossroad, and all around you are several trains heading towards your location. If you don't control them well, you're going to end up crushed and mangled in a massive trainwreck.

As the sem ends, I'm losing my drive and motivation. I think it's because I'm getting worn out from the constant work. The constant pressure. The constant weeks in school. The constant lost weekends. The constant lack of sleep. The neverending chain of tasks. It's been wearing me down since the beginning of school, and I can only maintain it for so long. To just keep working and working and working non-stop week after week after week. I've lasted pretty long ESPECIALLY juggling hall stuff along with school, but eventually there's only so much you can sustain, and all my drive is getting worn away. 3 more weeks to the end.

Still no mood to work.

SO MANY THINGS TO DO. Ok. One by one. Went for lorry supper which was awesome. I was the only guy from my floor who went. =.= Really ghost level sia. Stayed till 6plus and reached hallat close to 7. Slept. Wanted to wake up early to go my friend's place for her birthday but I didn't hear my phone ring when my friend called!! Went down and thought I overshot but didn't actually. Travelled in one circle.

Eventually reached, so it was alright. Gave her my gift, had cake, then we all went upstairs. Left some time later, then went back to school. I wanted to sleep but after showering didn't feel sleepy. I totally wanted a break but my friends we all far away in the east. =( Seeing as how the oppotunity cost of going there is so far, I decided to entertain myself (as usual) and watched a moviev from my hard drive. While doing my laundry. Also transferring pictures from my camera now.

I have to next finish my segment of the marketing report, and do my individual assignment due next week. =( And also work on my models! So many things! Sigh. Ok time to get started.

Sch was ok. Decidedv to take a break so I went home after class today. haha. Need to head down to sch tomorrow still though.

Haven't blogged in a while. Back in sch working on stuff for tomorrow. Felt sleepy so I hit the coffee once more. Now I'm back with reinforcements. Half a bag of Nescafe 3-in-1. Presentation was quite ok I guess. Was damn glad to finish it. I went back to hall and slept 4 hours. AWESOME. Yeah. Then went back to school for sketching class. I guess rushing out my sketches paid off in that I could actually sleep after presentation. Yay!

After that went back to hall for CMB stuff. The concert is over today! That marks the end of all my hall stuff! Finito. No more. It's been a rough ride, with my committee not being the most helpful, but I do miss the people in main comm. It's been a fun ride with them (only). I am somewhat glad that I'm rid of all hall commitments now though. I did feel a bit sad to end today's concert still.

Anyway after the intense rush for Tuesday's final presentation and the non-stop overnight slog, I've somewhat lost some steam so I need to push myself a bit more to do my work. Need to organise my to-do list, bump up priorities, focus on the more pressing tasks and put my shoulder to the wheel once more. I want a break but there's no time to stop now.

"Soldier On
Soldier On
Keep your heart, close, to the ground

Don't think about it at all
Just keep your head low
Don't think about it at all"

-Soldier On, The Temper Trap

Need to work on my handles and produce a nice new set for my tutor tomorrow to review. Also need to work on 10 more remotes for Monday. Finish my sketches over the weekend. And work on my marketing individual assignment! And work on Ergo group project. Friday I shall have to run some errands, if I can't do so on Thursday. Friday night is Lorry Supper for hall. Whee! Looking forward to it! Saturday is Mal's birthday. Guess I can't sleep much then hahaha.

In school. Doing project. Running on caffeine. My team member have slept a bit but I haven't. Not yet. I'm dying from doing the super tedious referencing part and links to all our pictures. So near yet so far. Almost done. Come on!!!

HAHAHA joke. A fricking joke. See, some of my cell members in my CCA are well, shall we say cannot make it most of the time. Granted, sometimes they do chip in, but a lot of the time they never reply smses, emails, etc. And have trouble doing work too. Of them all, this dick is the worst and he is so notorious that even the main comm know about him, without me really saying much. That's how bad it is. Can tell from his attitude too when forcing him to do work. Like asking him to kill himself.

Background of this smart guy: we needed to send down two members to help another hall's production. He was chosen but he didn't reply smses or calls. I was in school, BUT another main comm member saw him in hall and asked him to go. His response: No. I don't want to go. Why? I don't feel like going. -Applause- Bravo. Now here we have evidence of his attitude. Not just to me but to others. So today I email him with another job. He shoots back this self-righteous email. Hahaha. What a joke. Names have been changed to protect privacy.

"Hi X and Y,

Thanks for delegating the job of video production job to me. However, I would like to reject the offer as I never find myself a good fit in publicity com due to the lack of both photoshop and video editing skills.

Also, I felt my previous efforts in CMB was not appreciated as reflected in the CCAs points allocated to me. This claim is not vague as I swear that I have done each and every task ordered by publicity IC, KennethBEFORE the points allocation to my best ability with every bits of skills that I have.

I am even more disappointed with CMB when I heard rumours telling that I was allocated the lowest points in the whole Com despite all my efforts. Although this might not be true or I did not really contributed as much, but certainly, I knew I do not deserve such low points after I did a quick check around people I know and also some close seniors.

I sincerely apologized for not contributing to Rockfest because I was really angered by this matter as it may cost me my hall stay next year.

To keep matter within the com, I have decided not to cc Z after a long consideration.

Thank you Y for giving me an opportunity to work with CMB. Feel free to talk to me personally if anyone of you found it is necessary.

A. "

A is for ass. And you, sir, are one. Can I get an amen to that? Come on, what do you take us for? Fools? Yeah, each and every task, after ignoring 90% of everything or saying no to it. Best of your ability? Yeah, if your mental concept of removing the decorations after the concert = plucking everything off the wall and throwing it on the floor. Even our CHAIRPERSON also knows because she PICKED UP after you. Please. Your best ability could be outperformed by a trained monkey.

Meh. Oh well, I'll be free of hall after this sem, for better or for worse. It's been an experience I guess, but I don't have the time to dedicate to it. I have two very extreme perceptions of hall. It could sway either way really. All depends on fate, and the path you take.

Anyways I oughta get to sleep soon. Need to finish off my remotes tomorrow and also to work on the history project. And got another hall thing at 1120 so I can't go school early.

I got no mood to do work again! =( Sigh. Sian.

Beer. Drink it fast = happy. =) Heh. Way to improve one's mood from all the work. Artifically. =X

220AM. Chillaxing. Feels kinda nice. While waiting for the glue to dry on my model. Sitting back in my swivel chair (yes i got a cushioned swivel chair at my seat! :D) and just listening to music. Waiting for the glue to dry. Sigh. Hope I can solve the printing problem solved somehow tomorrow. Having to deal with hall and sch work is getting on my nerves.

---

Did some work today. Stagnating...on-and-off. Well, work is still work. Better than nothing. It's been an okay day but I'm hoping to pick up the pace later tonight. I did something silly and left my A3 folder in my room when I left today. =.= Oh well I guess I can go back for dinner and pick it up later when I return. I sorta wanna stay over tonight. I'm not asking anyone else though. Feel like I need the alone time. Wonder if anyone else is staying though. I kinda hope not. The solitary mood is growing on me. Hope I can do more tonight.

Need to work on my handle, plant, and bottle.

---

AHHH FUCK WHY MUST EVERYTHING GO WRONG WHEN I PRINT STUFF. FUCK THIS SHIT. FUCK HALL FUCK IT MAN. I went to print out some posters ytd and only realised late at night that I only collected 7 out of 20 posters. WTF. That cost me $10! So today I went to reprint. Then my ezlink ran out of cash. I tried to top up at CLB and back in Sheares Hall. All the machines refused to accept my card! WTF. SRSLY WTF MAN. It's a frickin' ezlink card issued by NUS and both machines don't accept it. FUCK. So now I don't have enough cash to fucking top up my ezlink card, so I can't print. And I don't have a fucking cashcard. And now they kp-ing me about the poster. Everything is fucked up and going wrong OKAY?!

Well. I guess I got the break my body wanted (not exactly what I was hoping but still,) it was a good break. I woke up at 830 to switch my alarm. Somehow my mind tricked me into believe it was the alarm to switch off my phone charger. So I switched it off and went back to sleep. I keep the blinds closed in my room so it's always dark. =X

Until my phone's whatsapp kept getting spammed by ben and xw. I was wondering why the hell were they so energetic in the morning. Then I saw the clock. 11am. OMG MEGA OVERSLEEP. =S I wanted to rush down to school but then realised that I would be v late plus I had nothing to show for class. Then decided to join them for an impromptu meeting at Vivo. Felt super guilty about ponning class. =S

Nevertheless I had fun going out for once, had lunch and Ben and Jerry's and walked around a bit. Lol. I guess it was a well-deserved break cos ben says I look better than I did our last outing. Yet, it still was 'illegal' cos it was a school day. Pon studio and lecture. =S Gonna go back to sch tomorrow still for project though. Need to rush out some work so I can show my tutor tomorrow.

Ahh just came back from Rockfest. It was fairly decent in the end. I think we managed to put up quite a show and the turnout was quite good. I think everyone enjoyed themselves. =) That's one event down. Whew. Came back to hall after...was quite busy. So many things to read, so many emails to clear and still got a bit of work to do. Sigh. Hmm. Really wanna sleep but I think I have to do some work for tomorrow. Also need to print and photoshop some stuff for hall. I shall leave that for tomorrow. Actually...If I feel lazy...I can slp now, and sketch tmr in class. Yup. I think I oughta.

See, I actually fell asleep just now. DURING A ROCK CONCERT. IN THE FRONT ROW. And my classmate asked me why I kept fall asleep in class recently. So, yeah.

Ok I'm somewhat better. Wasn't in a great mood probably from the fact I needed a break and also that I haven't have enough sleep. Also, while I was slogging away at my com, my other team members were hard at work sleeping or playing with their mobile phone once they had finished their parts. I, was just compiling everything together into the final presentation that they couldn't really be bother to look through.

Anyway, the presentation is over, and I skipped sketching class today. Took a break and I feel better for this haha.

I am trying to decide if i have just had an argument with my classmate. I am also trying to decide if I should kill someone right now. Seriously.

Control Kenneth, control.

I am going crazy. Dammit.

I am damn fucking NOT HAPPY right now. FUCK.

Want to type stuff. But. CONTROL.

...

who made you queen of cute you blind retard? grow the FUCK UP.

I am going to throttle someone soon.

If I could, I will stick a FUCKING PENCIL through the eye of the next dick who tries to FUCK around with me.

Burning out. I can feel it. I think I dozed off in my room earlier without noticing it. Lost a few mins there. Totally have no mood to do work right now. How do I force myself to do it? I am like rejecting work right now. Comtemplating coffee.

The calm strains of a slow piano instrumental echo throughout the empty studio.

I am, once again, alone here, rushing my work.

Sigh. I am honestly, truly tired. I spent last night working on hall stuff and my sketches. I meant to sleep 1 hour, but it snoozed into 2. When I got home, I took a nap after I started to fall asleep while sketching. That nap overshot 1 hr into 2 also.

So 4 hours, and I am overnighting in studio again. I went out to meet Val, XW and Ben again. It was nice to see them after so long. Service at Fruit Paradise was shit. Their system cock up and lost our orders. Anyway...near the end I felt damn tired. Maybe it was the strain of carrying so many things. Made my way back to school and then unpacked before heading to studio. I have to last the night.

I slept quite a bit more last night. Did meet up with XW and ben though. Sacrificed sleep for that. Then started to doze off midway. =X Went to the furniture design forum today was pretty good. Had Naoto Fukasawa there. Basket. My friend wentto get his autogrpah can. Mildly jealous. Then again, I didn't bring one of his books along. Darn.

After that went to town for dinner and visited some design shops. Intended to go home but then forgot to bring my keys. Went back hall instead. I realised I have a lot of work to do. To think that I imagined relaxing tonight for once, editing some photos or video. But NOOOO I have todo up more poster designs. I have to send emails to rally my guys to do up the decorations. I have to print stuff.

AND I still have a lot of schoolwork to do. I think I really cannot sleep le. I shall: try to watch some webcasts, then finish my sketches for modelling class and sketching class. After that I have 20 models to do on Sun. Tomorrow morning/afternoon celebrating my mum's birthday. Sunday I have to return to hall to put up deco and print things as well.

After working overnight, once again as proven, miracles can, do, and will happen the night before final submission. We were stuck on ideas and drawing blanks until our tutor came in today. He gave us a project to concentrate on and areas to focus on and improve. And so we worked on it all the way and managed to finish our models, scrounging materials from everywhere to get just barely enough for our requisite two models and one prototype. It's a close thing. More pictures tomorrow, hopefully.

I am redlining myself. Stay up will 630pm last night, working on that project. Running on coffee numbs the senses. I slept two hours, and then woke up to go to class. Was bugged in the morning by sms clamouring me about hall stuff. Sigh. More stuff piling on me. Hit Techno Edge in the morning for a cup of coffee. It rained a lot last night. Was damn cold in lecture.

I have to reluctantly admit that I'm not as young as I once was. Feeling like crap after pulling an (almost) all-nighter. Heart rate up thanks to the caffeine, and jittery thanks to it. I notice everyone has given up on asking me to rest. I still have sketching I didn't have time to do. Sigh.

More work again. Dunno what time I can sleep tonight. I shall go shower and start work. I got my new timbuktu bag. It's awesome. mesenger bag with removable camera insert. Whee. Gonna try it out tomorrow.

Who put the weight of the world on my shoulders?

Just discovered this song by oasis. So nice and mellow...and slightly emo. But nice. Youtube it. But that's what I felt earlier when starting my work. Odd that I now feel in the mood to blog at 544am. It's the only time I have some personal time to myself. And even now I'm ignoring the fact I have hall stuff to work on. Sigh. This song is playing now anyways.

Anyway, I took on the task of consolidating my groups work. Someone's got to do the dirty work. Someone has to take charge and steer us in the right direction now that time is running out. So they sent me their respective timelines and I put them all together. The map was a bitch. Deciding between images and text and InDesign and Photoshop. I finally found a good mashup of the two. Man. At least it turned out how I wanted it to. Kinda proud of that. Shall show them tomo - oops, I mean today.

It reminds me of sem 1 again. Staying up till the wee hours of the morning, working in my room, listening to music. Roar. I felt sleepy earlier so I just went for the coffee. Powerful stuff. I'm still pretty awake and it's almost 6am. I have to wake up at 830 later. And I have to sketch! Will I have time tomorrow? Not very sure. Maybe I oughta sketch now and not sleepy. But i'm not 100% in the mood and may not produce something I like. Sketch during history? Uhhh. Dammit. I might try. Sigh.

I'm dying here. Ughh. Damn sian. Day in day out studio. A lot ofpeople are falling sick. I think it's only due to my supernatural immunity thats why I'm ok. I've always been less prone to catching ill, for some reason. Anyway I came school to do CD rack then she msged me say she has MKT project meeting. My other team member has to leave early so I'm left. For remotes, one guy is sick the other is doing some external competition. =\ So I'm alone here. Zzz. None of my project mates are.

Then I still have hall stuff to contend with. I don't want to think about it right now. But I have to. Roar. I'm buying a Timbuk2 bag tomorrow from an online seller. I need a proper camera protection system. I dropped my D90 and dinged it once in TW. Fucking sad. I bring it 3700m up a mountain in the middle of a storm unharmed, and bash it up in TW. Fuck man. Damn irritated at myself too. Well at least new bag now. $160. Sorta can't wait.

Absolutely no time to blog. A quick summary...Taiwan was mind-blowing. Suffered a bit of culture shock in transitioning back to Sg. Because we didn't have any rest at all and started school the next day, it was quite disturbing to transition back so quickly. The week went by in a hazy blur, spent on rushing out work and projects we had no time for overseas.

Amped on caffeine and riding the crest of the artificial energy, I went through 6 cups of coffee, from wherever I could get it. School, a random kopitiam, instant coffee. I don't even like coffee that much in the first place. If I drink it has to be sweet. But I tried to push those thoughts out of my mind and down it. Looking back, I really don't remember the past 4 days. Quite literally a blur.

Yesterday was a self-declared rest day. I ended sch early (MKT lecture was canceled.) So I went out with her to buy stuff. It was the first time we had gone out with each other alone, but it was ok, not awkward or anything. So that's fine I guess. =) It's better than nothing. And I quite enjoyed it.

Went down to Bras Basah to buy our art materials and then had lunch there. It was raining so we sort of ran to Bugis and headed back. Got back to hall, showered, had dinne and finally tore myself away form the com. Intended to wake at 1030 but shut off my alarm and slept all the way till 1am plus. OMG. SO. AWESOME. It was heaven to finally get some rest. I just can't describe it. Proper rest.

Went online for 2 hours, then slept from 3 to 945. Went for a meeting then headed to school. So much stuff to handle omg. Hall stuff. Got no mood to start work in school. Maybe I reached my limit? I can't have. Zzz.

I'm going to kill someone soon. I cannot take this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. All the hall stuff is getting on my nerves. I have so much stuff to juggle and it's encroaching on my schoolwork and my projects and my working time and my sleep. Fuck man.

Headache. Feeling slightly cranky. Like anything could set me off soon. Rar. Rushing out project for tomorrow. Sigh.Another project on Thurs again.

Sad to say. I doubt I have time to blog about my TW trip. Suffice to say I had really a lot of fun and was really happy. Unfortunately reality sets in and I am beset by work on all sides. Sigh. So I must go onward to do battle. Maybe someday when I am free I'll talk about it. For now I don't have time to edit and upload pictures too. Eventually I will. Recently I have been thinking of playing a new game. It's called Let's See How Long I can Go Without Sleep. Actually I slept last night but well, I'm on my second cup of coffee. I'm on a roadtrip to destroying my physical self with large amounts of work, caffeine and late nights. Live fast die young...cos I'm on the HIGHWAY TO HELL~