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The Protagonist
Him: Kenneth
His story has been told for: 20 years
His story began on: Sept 11, 1989 (Yes, really)
Current Location: Singapore
Likes: His friends, photography, cycling, bowling, reading, MTV, Facebook, music, movies
Dislikes:
Smoking, Hypocrites
Astro Sign: Virgo
Desires Basic Economic Problem: Humans have unlimited wants but limited resources.
Webcam New Wallet Headphones+Mic Better camera Bowling Equipment Gap hooded-jacket Stephen King books Sony Ericsson w610i Abode photoshop or equivalent
*iPhone 3G S* (Can we like combine last year's gift plus this yr and maybe X'mas too? =D)
Burnout Revenge (Xbox)
Midtown Madness (Xbox)
To be a better photographer
Chapter 20
Saturday, May 31, 2008,
5/31/2008 11:43:00 PM
[UPDATE] This is all very scary. Tomorrow is the final date for acceptance, and my interview was on 30 May. Will they be sending me the letter later than tomorrow or will they make it? Will my appeal inadvertently cancel out any offers if they truly are mailing me after 2 June? But I have no choice to appeal. I think I will get my sis to wait till 5 June, the appeal deadline before I send in the appeal. Meanwhile, she will help me check for any letters. [UPDATE]
Sigh. Life has thrown me another fast one. Anyway, life in camp is better now, most of the things are over. POP is approaching soon. 16k march finished with sore feet. 10 more days. Today booked out in the morning, met ben and XW for breakfast. Then went home to change before going to parkway to meet ben and tak. Went to vivo to meet xw and Eugene. Walked around.
People kept going off by themselves but we all met up together in the end. Went shopping, bought 3 t-shirts. Feels good. Haven't bought stuff in a long time. Had dinner at Marche. Quite tired now. Only 6 hours of sleep after the march last night.
Anyway, I just realised that my interview was yesterday but the deadline for acceptance is 2 June. So I dunno how I will be informed of any acceptance by NUS. Do they have enough time? And I will be in camp by 2 June. Anyway, maybe I can get my sis to try and do the acceptance for me. Sigh. This is nerve-wracking. Tak says I need to try and do the appeal first.
And I have 500 lines to write because of some long story in camp. Everyone has to do it. Ugh.
Oh, and good news. I just realised I am the only one among my friends who has not received any acceptance from any university. So I have nothing to fall back on. Whoop-dee-doo. So much for all the worrying, it's me! So what if I am creative? The system does not recognise it. By the standards of the system, I am dumb. Maybe I should do what ben's friend says and shoot everyone. Ha-ha. No that's just silly. Why make people pay for me? I should be the one who is dead. What's the point? I know I'm not stupid. I'm fucking way better than plenty out there. Too much it doesn't mean anything to them.
Well I'm back! SIT test is over, and was quite fun I must say. 12k route march completed, and I was one of the loudest singers. Hah! So proud of myself. Anyway I got a pleasant surprise today. Ben said they just came out from movie and were not going to be able to meet me and I was disappointed, but when I stepped off the bus I was surprised to see the 3 of them standing there. Apparently they waited 1 hour there for me because some of my platoon mates couldn't get space on the ferry so they they had to take the next one. =.= Otherwise I'd have reached at about 830.
Anyway I haven't got any letters yet, which is fucked up. I'm the only one who hasn't. FASS seems to have totally ignored me for some reason or another. Bastards. One guy got ADD and he put it as 4th choice but he got an interview. I got BCD and put it 2nd place but nothing. What the fuck. My mum said I got an NTU letter and I was prepared for a rejection letter already. What I wasn't prepared for was my reaction to it when I heard the confirmation.
I started swearing over the phone, and just slammed my bag into the lift. I then took out my frustration on the lift by practicing some simple BCCT (Basic Close Combat Training) moves on its walls. Of course my mood took a downswing. There is a faint ray of hope though, because I still have my interview from Industrial Design which I hopefully can make. It's next Friday. I hope they left me book out.
I hope I get something this year. I don't want to apply again next year. I'm scared. What if it's bad news? Then what? I don't think I can take any more soulless, sterile, and impersonal NTU rejection letters.
"All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official."
Cycled to Kovan to meet tak then play 7 games of bowling. Had 140, 150, 170+ but also had shitty games. Lol. Was using house ball. After that went to macs to eat fries, then cycled to compass point. Sat there and ben came down to met us. Walked around a bit, then led tak back to near hougang and went home.
Swallowed some fish bones during dinner. My mum thought I was feeling and looking unwell because of the bones but it was because I suddenly remembered my appeal. And lost my appetite. I have no way to contact the NUS Arch dept to get more info about my appeals. I'm totally lost. I don;t know what to do. I think I need xw's help. Do you want a physical letter of appeal, or do I use the appeals site on the net? Who the fuck do I mail the letter to? Office of admissions? Do they know my situation? Fuck lah.
And I have to learn my knots and lashes for my SIT test, and write my commanders appraisal and field camp reflections and the computer that's hooked up to the printer is having problems again. Sigh. This sucks.
And my wrist is starting to hurt more. I injured some part of it during my shellscrape digging. It hurts even to unscrew a bottle. I hope it doesn't fail on me. Sigh. I feel like I'm talking to myself.
I'm back once more, and field camp is over. BMT is indeed passing by faster than expected. Only 3 more weeks to go. Hope I can go to command school. I need to work on my IPPT. Field camp...I hit a high fever during and after digging of my shellscrape. 39.6. I was surprised too. Felt dizzy but didn't think it was that bad. Anyway finally booked out, and all that's left is my SIT test and my IPPT, grenade experience, 16k and 24k route march. After next week, only the route marches and grenade are left.
Oh yeah, congrats to tak on getting accepted by Socio. See, there's actually nothing to worry about. Sadly, I have to submit an appeal letter to NUS cos I missed my interview cos of field camp and I now have just half-lost another chance to get into uni with nothing more coming my way. Haven't got any other letters. This is all very depressing business. I shall go and take a look at the site and try to get a letter to them.
For now...I don't know. I think I'll go for a cycle. Just call me if anyone need anything. But I don't know if I'll hear my phone over my MP3. Fuck, I might as well just go and drive my bike over the side of the bridge near my house. Pretty glamourous, even if it's not a sports car.
[UPDATE] Went cycling at Punggol Park. Ran into this dumb fuck kid who turned into my path at the last minute even as I turned to avoid him and WAS going to avoid him already. Not a good time for this to happen. Just bullshitted my way through his parents with all the expected apologies and shit. Hell, you think I'm in a mood to care? [/UPDATE]
I'm back for NUS interview. Others are sleeping in the jungles of Tekong at field camp now. I'm lucky. 8 klick was friggin' tiring today. But what we learned was fun. =] When I go back I'll be having 4 more days...uh...tired now. My knee hurts. Stress. I shallgo sleep and return with a fresh set of clothes for field camp. Yay! When I came back I was stuffing my face with all sorts of delightful food. I feel guilty.
Anyway I'm starting to have serious rashes on my neck, and I have a very big and thick scratch on the back of my neck and one huge welt that just healed on my right eye from chiong suaing in the jungle a few days ago. I ran into this vine/ tree branch, and when it didn't give, I tried to rip through it again and ended up getting fucked over by it.
Note to self: Never lick fingers with residual camo cream on them. Bleah!
Yeah I'm down with food poisoning. But I'm not dead yet. But you do feel like dying when your body has the need to purge itself from both top and bottom orifices, coupled with a fever. Sentosa was fun through I wan't able to fully appreciate it, as you can see I didn't appear much in the last few pictures. I shall resolve to be well for our next sentosa trip.
Basically the night before, I had a filet o' fish, and started feeling strange during Ironman. Then the next day, if you will pardon my crudeness, I started shitting my brains out. But I still felt pretty fine, but my condition progressively worsened during the day, till I ended up puking my guts out.
Basically all we did was camwhore, go into the water, where a sudden surge of big waves caught me in deep water and I nearly drowned if not for val. Yes, apparently I am still unable to swim, or rather I didn't even try. So much for NS swimming lessons.
Later we just sat down for lunch and camwhored till the evening, where I became violently ill, and said hi to my lunch for the second time that day. Other than that it was quite fun. The girls looks quite hot if I may add, and maybe I should include some of the pics as my portfolio haha. NS has not removed my photography skills. . . . I'm grateful for my 2 days of MC, but well, I'm cooped up at home now and I'm bored. Sigh. I wanna go out or something. I feel well enough to go out, now that the worst has passed. Bah.
Nothing to do today. Which is good in a way I guess. I should appreciate it. TIme outside of camp seems to pass by so darn fast. Spent my day listening to the radio, reading and on MSN. Watching Fe-man later. Ironman of course. Should be cool.
[UPDATE] Back. Ironman was cool. Very nice. I had fun I guess, meeting up with the old guys again. Everytime I open my mouth, something NS comes up. Ugh. That pretty much sucks. But then again nothing much else is in my life now. Still it is kinda stressful. I know I'm trying to kick myself out of this rut, but it's not easy. Not when I'm like...this. It's that old feeling again. I know it all too well.
It's not easy when your buddy is from RJ and booked out 3 times in the first 2 weeks. It's not easy when you see your section mate studying for a Medicine interview. It's not easy when you see everyone else booking out for interviews. It's not easy when you know your drawing skills suck shit and your only strength is your creativity, which is, well, INTANGIBLE.
I have an Industrial Design interview but I haven't prepared any of the materials yet. It's like I'm avoiding it. I dunno. Maybe tomorrow. Or Sun. Whatever. I can't really think straight now. Right. I feel pretty cut off thanks to NS. I mean, in those two weeks, even the blind can SEE. The friggin' blind can see. In London. My friend exclaimed that. He was reading the papers. In those 2 weeks, Singapore had a disease outbreak, and everyone and their mother found out how good ol' Mas escaped.
All this disconnection makes me feel pretty separated from everything. Its like it's making me, ironically, more anti-social and short tempered at times. Thankfully, at times only. Trying to hold myself in. I know I swear more. I'm just rambling. The main thing here is that I feel pretty much like shit because my future is a blur right now. Knowing you scored the lowest among all your friends doesn't help. I don't begrudge them. Neither do I blame myself. What's over is over, and I know that I did try. It's just that...well...fuck.
You know what's the hardest thing is in NS? It's not the separation, it's not the regimentation, it's not the abuse.
I'm back and I'm lucky. Some people booked in today again, some people have to book in friday. I have long weekend. This week was ok I think. Think we are gonna get screwed for area cleaning again, but then again they will always find fault.
Booked out and met val, tak, ben, and simon and went for dinner at Tamp Pizza hut. Indulged in a peach tea. So good. I truly appreciate cold drinks now. =] Then talked till very late. Went home, and just K.O.ed from 12-10am. In the morning, woke up to go to tak's house.
Went to Vivo Giant, where tak bought a pair of sandals, and had lunch at Marche. Was quite nice. Then stoned at the playground for 1.5 hours, played at one of the sculptures. Lol. Watched Superhero Movie, which was quite funny. =P Then went home. I think I feel tired more easily now. I dunno why.
Yeah, NS strength is indeed not to be underestimated. I broke the toilet door handle after book out, then I locked myself in today morning so I just unleashed my NS strength again and removed a little more of the door that was obstructing my way.
Oh and I haven't gotten any letters from any universities yet. This is rather distressing, if I may add. Considering that I scored the lowest out of the mugalos, tak appears to be more worried than me. But then again, I haven't got much time to worry about it. That's why we all don't kill ourselves. They work you into the ground till you don't even have the time or energy to think or even to kill yourself. Ha-ha.
Nevertheless...it's not a crime if you "hurt" yourself out of camp right? I hear the SOG is bleeding sharp. Ha-ha. Would save me the time hacking at myself. One touch and the claret flows. Bon appetit. One of my platoon mates cut himself to the bone, accidentally. I might get into an *ahem* unforeseen SOG accident someday. Who knows?
Sigh. Why am I thinking these things?
I'm a new soul I came to this strange world Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear Finding myself making every possible mistake
