"I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going here I have to go."
-The Waking, Theodore Roethke

Went bowling yesterday. Was quite alright I guess. Later went out to watch Painted Skin with Shawn, YM, Sixu and Siwei. Midnight movie, return home at 3. Lol. TOday, just went out for breakfact. Dunno what to do. Bored, really. My current MSN nick is "Adrift in the sea of life; I've lost my compass." Why? Its because I don't know what to do with during the weekends. There's a feeling of discontentment. I have absolutely no plans for it at all, until it arrives with a great banging and clamouring that is the frantic joyful packing of my bag before I leave camp.

Then when I'm out, do I start poking around and thinking of things to do and people to ask out. But my weekends seem to lack the life and fun it once had. What a way to spend my only time outside. Time passes in a blur and before I know it, it's Sunday again. But what can I do? My life seems to lack the vitality and joie de vivre it once possessed. Rather disappointing. I feel as though there's something missing.

Yet I despair not, because as faraway as it seems, there will come an end to this purgatory; this state of helpless limbo I'm trapped in. This will come to an end. And I realised something some time back. The fact that I have so many wonderful treasured memories to lean on in dark times, so many recollections of the past that warm the heart, made me realise that I have been really lucky. Lucky to have a great family. Lucky to have such wonderful friends. Absolutely the best in the world, the times we had. Lucky in life. Lucky to get into uni.

I've had a good run so far, and I really can't complain. Sure there are times when things go awry, but what does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Balance it out with my past, how lucky I've been to have such great people in my life. Even in the army I've been lucky enough to get into a decent vocation, to get something what I actually wanted,and that something that is not easy to get into in the first place.

I've been fortunate enough to lead a decent life full of light, love, laughter, and learning. And well, Life is not bad. Not good, not great, but quite alright. I can tolerate it for a while more. Even if I were to die soon, I'd be contented with what I have had before; contented with all that I've been given. Even if I were to go, at least I'll have experienced some of the best life had to offer.


(I love this song. =P)

"It's only life. We all get through it."
- Odd Hours, Dean Koontz