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The Protagonist
Him: Kenneth
His story has been told for: 20 years
His story began on: Sept 11, 1989 (Yes, really)
Current Location: Singapore
Likes: His friends, photography, cycling, bowling, reading, MTV, Facebook, music, movies
Dislikes:
Smoking, Hypocrites
Astro Sign: Virgo
Desires Basic Economic Problem: Humans have unlimited wants but limited resources.
Webcam New Wallet Headphones+Mic Better camera Bowling Equipment Gap hooded-jacket Stephen King books Sony Ericsson w610i Abode photoshop or equivalent
*iPhone 3G S* (Can we like combine last year's gift plus this yr and maybe X'mas too? =D)
Burnout Revenge (Xbox)
Midtown Madness (Xbox)
To be a better photographer
Chapter 20
Thursday, May 31, 2007,
5/31/2007 11:11:00 PM
Mugged a bit today. Watched some Naruto. Nothing much to say I guess. Changi has changed a lot...been a while since I last went... Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. So this is how it is.
Falling sick was definitely not on my list of Things-I-Want-To-Do-This-Holiday. =[ Watching Pirates definitely was though. And Shrek 3 is on the cards too. Lol. IF I have time that is...my nose resembles the edge of the Earth in PotC 3 where the ship tumbles over, following an infinite amount of water.
Bet our gahmen would love to find a way to kope all that water for our NEWater plant. =P And has anyone wondered with all that water flowing off, how the sea levels actually remain constant??? You'd think after implementing the flat-planet system, the Creator would've scratched his head, watched all the life on that planet die, and fire his Celestial Planet Designer.
Or maybe...he could've come up with a solution...(SPOILER WARNING) I got lazy with writing so I just typed the words in...
Anyway, back on topic, its not easy to concentrate when you're sick and feeling lethargic all the time. =\ I tried to sleep, but usually I can't in the afternoon unless I'm really wasted. Maybe I'll sleep earlier tonight or something...but I'm still trying to squeeze in some more time with the Chem TYS.
After squandering the past...5 days of the holidays I think I need to try mugging a little harder. After so many things happening maybe I'm just a little too stressed out, and I've spent the past days trying to relax...well, sorta. Lol. I might be cutting down on blogging unless there's something going on since basically what you all will be reading will be "I mugged today", or maybe "I tried to mug today but ended up doing so-and-so." or maybe some random thoughts of mine. =\ Depends. Going to try and see how much I can squeeze in today.
Damn its true. I obviously CANNOT take my GP paper in peace. I arrived a little late today, BUT still made it becuase they hadn't started yet. I walked in with Ben and the teacher gave that Royally Pissed Off look. Oh shit #1. Then the paper started. I realised I left my wallet and IC outside. Oh shit #2. Then he came. Looked as me with the RPO face. "Do you expect me to read your name from your face?"
"I...er...left my wallet outside. Should I go get it?" "Marked as absent." -walks on- No Oh shit #3. More of OH FUCK #1. I was totally stunned. I was like wtfshitnononononothiscantbehappenningeverythingisscrewedupsssshit.
Brilliant. Just brilliant. I stared at the paper. Now what? I scanned the paper but I was not sure what to choose. After having to deal with a personal crisis the night before, I was dealt a second blow the next day. I wasn't even sure how I could carry on under the weight. But I had to. Even if for nothing, then let it be as a final "Screw You." to the Establishment. I wasn't going down without a fight.
I composed myself and started writing. And I didn't even have a lot of points. I wrote a paragraph or so, then realised something odd about the question. Crush. Restart. Changed question. I tried my best to hold up and to go on. In my mind, visions of him tearing up my script, and myself failing the mid-years flashed before me, I would show my future empolyers my resume, and they would look at me incredulously. You failed GP? I forced these thoughts out of my mind, and rebuilt the mental wall.
I was going to give it all I got. I wasn't exactly of 100% "sound mind" at that time, but I certainly was going to write the hell out of it. Then a while into the paper, someone's phone kept ringing non-stop. Out of the blur of thuoghts in my brain, a single line rose up clear above all. "This is the cheerful tune that will accompany my descent on the path of self-destruction." The phone kept ringing throughout the paper. I wrote.
At the end of it all, I think my hands were just shaking. Would he rip my script in front of me? As a last act of desperation, I penned a short note seeking mercy at the end of my script.
I left my wallet and IC in my bag outside. The invigilator has said he marked me as absent. I still write this essay to demonstrate my "determination to persevere".[I used this phrase in my essay] I will not give up without a fight. I can only pray I do not fail.
If I truly am "absent", I would like to thank you for your time and consideration. I am truly regretful it had to turn out like this. I also would like to apologise for the quality of my work as I was not exactly of "sound mind" when I wrote it.
He took my paper. But he did not tear it. Still a part of me told me to wait until he got to the teacher's table. But it did not happen. Would I go through? I asked Ben if he thought I'd be "absent". He said that he wouldn't think so. Nevertheless, I will not put any trust in that. Its not in any way a comment on Ben's reliability, but Life has taught me never to expect anything too good to happen. Ever.
Which is why I still firmly believe that I am screwed for the paper. At least until I see hard proof. Its just like my GP block test all over again. This (emo/cynical/pragmatic/my) way of thinking was only cultivated by several incidents of harsh suffering I have experienced at the sadistic and cruel hands of Life and Fate and whatnot and can be easily summarised in this line from Jeffrey Archer.
"I always expect the worst, so that whenever anything good happens I'll be pleasantly surprised."
=] Later went to Marina Bay to get my redrilled ball. Works ok. Now I have an extra spinner ball. Lol.
Woke up early to hit Kovan Mac to mug. Bought my bio notes to memorise since I expected I wouldn't be able to do any heavy work. Just studying bio was also a slow and sleep inducing process. Somehow managed to get a bit in. Later when Eliza left for tuition I went to get my stuff and went down to Kovan to bowl with Shawn. Did ok I guess. Helped to take my mind off stuff for a while. Hah. Later he joined us to study.
With people about I could forget about things for a while. GP test tomorrow. Feeling pretty sianed. Don't think I am in a mood to write a GP essay. Lol. I can only hope I do not screw up. Am I always cursed to take GP on days when I'm not feeling good? Block test too, and last year's promos I woke up late for the exams, which left my mind scrambled.
I have thought about this for quite a bit, and have decided to say this just for the record. I do not want to argue. I will simply state my point of view, and I will (hopefully) say no more on the matter. The rest...is up to you.
One thing which I don't really like is to be accused of doing something which I didn't do (except in the case of homework), which is why I wish to make myself clear once and for all(perhaps for posterity's sake?)...the events were as I describe, and no more. I know obviously that this will not convince you. I have no intention of changing your mind. Only you can do that. I just want to say it was not as you thought. I just want to tell my side of the story. But then again, how do you explain what I said? I can't. That's what makes this such a thorny issue. I cannot explain what I cannot control and have no prior knowledge of, but all the more you will only say I am denying it. And what does that leave me with? Nothing to defend myself. It was not of my doing, but neither was it or anyone else's but simply the strange ways the world works in...how do I disprove what you think? I will admit; I cannot. Which is why I am stuck in this corner. You might never even read this, but I just want it to be known. My side. I wish it didn't have to turn out like this...on these terms. But I truly have no way at ALL to change what you think. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry you don't believe me. I'm sorry it had to end this way. But I know what I said was the truth, and that's good enough for me.
It just wasn't good enough for you.
Now then do I see the irony, the final twist of the knife, the last grain of salt in the wound. In that somehow, Fate connected to me to this song by The Fray as I was about to leave the house last Sunday. (The full lyrics are in the 20/5/07 post)
"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness"
-"How to save a life", The Fray
[UPDATE] Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
I saw this on Joshua's blog. His latest post. If this is not obviously some kind of...sign, I don't know what it is. The enemies part is too harsh, of course. I have NO wish for anything of the sort. Its just...relevant. I also didn't want this to turn out this way. Not even as accquaintances. At the end of this you may think this is just some silly concocted elaborate story. I can't change that. But at least I know that I have said what I want to say, and I rest my case. My only wish is that this matter is buried. And that perhaps it had never happened at all too.
Hmm. Spent today doing work. 1st day I tried to adhere to the timetable. Not used to waking up at 9am on holidays, so I spent 20 extra mins in bed to work off the sleepiness. Thought I'd swap my Bio study hour with the breakfast one. Ended up going out for breakfast, then rushing.
Not that good but I'll try to pick up. Sigh. Hopefully I'll get in more tomorrow...going out to study again. Right now I just want to go out with my friends and slack all the way till I'm happy. I don't feel well. In fact I feel downright emo. Sigh. But what can I do? Well, sit at home at 10:51PM and listen to MCR, then. Hah. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
I almost can't take this life anymore. Rushing home for tuition today, I saw this guy dressed obviously headed for Orchard Road or someplace nice. Then it occurred to me, I was in a prison. Not a literal prison per se, but a prison of books. Like a caged animal, I can only pace the enclosure, occasionally try the bars. Escape is easy, and perfectly possible all the time, but there is a steep price to pay.
What's more, this price will be exacted on me, and there is no escape. So like a trapped creature, I occasionally slink out, to the movie or to go bowling, but I always return to my cage of books at the end of the day, to forcibly nourish myself on a diet of pain and suffering, at least until I try to break out at the end of the year. I don't even want to think what if it fails.
Today was uneventful. Went to play bowling with Shawn and Navin. Games were weird. High one moment, low the next. =.= Went home, finished sorting out stuff, and drew up a timetable in which I'm going to cram 10 hours of mugging and 6 or so hours of sleep in a day. I'll try to follow it as much as possible. =] Now its time for the picture flood of i-son't-know-how-many-days! Sorry if you have a slow internet. Hehs.
I find this picture artistic in a weird surreal sorta way. This pic is very meaningful and yummy. Lol. Took it while mugging. Terence dismantling our 3 bowling bag so they only form a dibagtide not a polybagtide. Er. off focus camera. Life! Life. My mum got this at Vivocity. Queued for 30 mins on a Monday afternoon. o_O Now come the pics taken on A div days. Mainly consist of very candid shots of various people sleeping. Haha... Ha! We found specs thicker than yours, Shawn! Alvin looks great in that hat. xD Some old desolate and creepy ghost town of a shopping mall located at the back of Shaw Towers where Ben got his earphones. Pepper Flakes in Water
Artist: Me
Year: 2007
Medium:Red Pepper, Water, Cup, Handphone camera
Some old desolate and creepy ghost town of a bowling alley. At least until the dinner crowd arrive. Galvyn getting attacked with fat plastic tubes at the National Stadium. ^^
DAMN I hate my FUCKING internet. I just want to scream at it. Freakin thing keeps pissing me off. It and the old computer were the only two inanimate objects ever to pump my blood pressure so high I simply felt I had to assault them to release all the tension. Feel like screaming non-stop and taking to the stupid thing with a sledgehammer. The damn thing is so infuriatingly intermittent it would make a pacifist take up arms. =.=
When it works ok, it well, works ok. When it has PMS or moodswings or whatever, its enough to kill you with anger. How would you like the internet to DISCONNECT EVERY 5 MINS? Oh, and you have to fix it manually. Like reset the stupid FUCKING box(poke a pen into tiny reset button at the back for 15 secs) and then log onto the the settings, change the access pass, change the wireless pass, and I'm not even mentioning changing the name of the network back. Once all that is done, it disconnects 5 mins again. Like WTF?!
This stage happened some weeks ago. At its worst, my sis would be using the main com, and me in my room. Once the thing goes pop on mine, I'd shout to her that it had f-ed up(obviously I don't like typing out the full word out that many times in my blog...) again and she'd reset the entire thing. If it went pop on hers she'd give me a heads up on the reset, so I'd know what was going on and she redo the entire thing again. Perfectly infuriating and a waste of time. Hate this shit.
Today was ok. Dug out ALL 2yrs work and sorted it out. Later when down to Kovan pro shop to look at (bowling) balls. Shawn got his Tornado today. By coincidence, TJ were holding their bowling elective there today. It was pretty long also...I also wanna bowl for hours non-stop...=] Oh and I saw Pris there also. Said hi. ^^ Then left to get home and change to go see Pirates with the rest. Was not bad.
The plotlines are as nurmerous as the number of swords we seen in the film and woven about as tightly as one of the many thick ropes seen in the movies, so it can get a litle confusing. And the betraying is as they say, "like free like that". In fact I tihnk there was quadruple or quintuple-crossing, instead of the usual double. People switched sides faster than you can say "Shazam!".
The fights were big, they were loud, they were awesome and dramatic. Oh and there's a wedding, but to say more would be a spoiler. =X In fact I could ruin the whole thing for everyone on Tues. Lol. IF I could actually remember what was going on on each plotline and keep from getting mixed up. And and if anyone has any smart comments, I did not watch Pirates 2 (thankyousingaporeeducationsystem) so maybe that's why I'm getting lost.
Went for supper at Pastamania later then left for home. Wait. DAMN. Lost my internet again. dammit dammit dammit argh!!!!!!!! =.= That's it. I'm tired. I cant upload my pics. I don't want to waste my time on this crap. I'm going to sleep. Ok. Fixed it. Had to go through the stupid process that I described just now. If that fails, I shut off the power to everything. Sigh. Good night all.DAMMIT WHEN WILL THIS STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FINALLY STOP GIVING ME PROBLEMS??? DOING THIS EVERY FEW MINUTES IS VERY IRRITATING. ZZZ.
Slacked duing PE. Rest of day was pretty slack too. Left at 145pm for National Stadium (soon to be torn down). Watched SA vs VJ. I think VJ won. As for the finals of MJ vs RJ, we lost 1-0...=[ Left for home very tired and with a headache. Think I'll sleep ealrier today. No school tomorrow! Yay! I might as well post any pics I have tomorrow along with our PotC movie. =]
Its over! Competition's over. It seems just months ago I was still a J1 reserves sitting at the chairs, watching rest play. It's already a year, and I got my chance to play for the school. I did better today. =] Two frames away from a clean game in my 2nd game. =[ Lol. Oh and I don't have to put up with -ahem- in the team le. You guys should know. ;]
Well at least thanks to -ahem- I have an excellent mental game le. w00ts. After that, Miss Chua treat us to Swensens earthquake, then wnet to the Ex-Victor's Superbowl at Marina Bay to check out balls. Either didn't have the colour I wanted or the weight, or the ball was out of production. =[ So decided to redrill the MJ Spinner Heirloom, which, sadly will not be passed on to the juniors as NONE of them wanna spin. Bleahs. Never mind I got a ball for free.
Played HOT4 at the alley while waiting for our ride to come. We died at the first boss. =[ And I accidentally wasted two lives early on cos I haven't playing it for a while. But later on I survived very far on that one last life. At least until the boss used his uber stompin' foot bash. Lol. I've accidentally slipped into a holiday mood during the comp days. Haven't touched homework in a while. How? =S I think I have to hand in stuff tomorrow. Or not. Holidays starting. =] I better go see what I can do anyway.
Bleahs. Compeition was not good. FReakin unlucky. solid pocket but left one pin standing. High pocket and worst possible split in the game. Caould' pick up spares properly at all. Basically the only good thing was that I got to miss school...lol. Oh well, hope I do better tomorrow. Bleah. Did really crappy today. Worst of all the other days. After that returned to sch in the rain to put pour bags in the GO and left for Orchard. Went about Wisma, played PSP, then to taka and then shaw towers and then home. Feet hurt. Lol. Hmm...I really feel like getting those speakers. So I can blast my door off its hinges no matter the occasion, if i'm high or low. Lol. I'm guilty of neglecting my owrk for the past few days, but because I get Tues and Wed off, Thurs is half days with a soccer match to watch later,and Fri I watching movie, the earliest I'll get to doing some work is Fri morning or so. Mid years are looming.
Step one you say we need to talk He walks you say sit down it's just a talk He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best Cause after all you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along And pray to God he hears you And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he'll say he's just not the same And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life How to save a life How to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life How to save a life How to save a life
Heard this on MTV yesterday. Found it very nice and meaningful. Like the chorus a lot...
Snow Patrol Chasing Cars
We'll do it all Everything On our own We don't need Anything Or anyone
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know How to say How I feel
Those three words Are said too much They're not enough
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time Chasing cars Around our heads
I need your grace to remind me to find my own
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am All that I ever was Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where Confused about how as well Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Feel a strange connection with this song. Too much connection. Sigh. Will not be blogging/visiting blogs today. Test tomorrow.
Damn. I. Am feeling very. Stressed. Out. Went bowling today, came back. slacked a bit, then went to do tuition homework. Did some BnP questions and was in a fine mugging mood until I camme across these STUPID INSANE CRAZY PARTS THAT I SIMPLY CANNOT SOLVE. I kept trying and going over it again and again and again and agin but NOOOOOOOO I simply cannot find out why I don't get the stupid answer. Brillant. It got so bad I started swearing at the stupid thing simply because I COULDN'T figure it out. What makes it worse is some questions I've attempted before, and the working looks right but DAMN the calculator doesn't spit out the value I wanted. ARGHHHHH. SO. FRUSTRATED. DAMN. IT. =.= [UPDATE] Sigh. On a whim I went to listen to Simple Plan. Haven't listened to them in aeons. Brings back interesting memories. Of the old days when things were better. And not so stressful and screwed up like now. How can life turn sour so quickly? Too bad we can't turn back the clock two years to when I was 16 and the O levels were over...or my 1st 2 mths in SRJC...
Today was as usual. Nothing much. Stoned during GP. Haven't got my essay back yet. Should have brought a novel. Bring Life of Pi on Mon. Playing bowling tml with the J1s at Kovan. ^^ Made a BLeach theme for my phone for fun. Heheh. I like it. =D Did some work today. Spend tomorrow mugging. That's it I guess. Nothing interesting, and no thought-provoking profound stuff to ponder today, so nothing to post. Oh, and MJ pWn3d!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 4-3 ^^ We're in the finals. VS RJ next thurs. Hehs. Friday gonna be a holiday. Cheers. OMG BLOGGER FINALLY WISED UP. Its now auto saves my posts. I'm surprised and a bit =.= at the same time. Hahaha...but I still have my habit og copying all my posts as soon as I'm done. o_O Lol.
MEant to share cab with Shawn but ended up taking bus instead. GOt to school in time though. Lol. Great to skip Thursday. Mrs Wong will be disappointed. She wanted to check my tutorial...
I acheived bankai today! And successfully summoned hollow form to pWn till I got one 199 game. ^^ I always talk in Bleach-bowling terms with my fellow spinner. Heheh. I managed to put Monday behind me and had a fresh start again. Got back my average , which was 149.333(3 dp) today, so not too bad. Bankai was totally awesome.
Suddenly released it during 5th game, a few frames into it. XXX which broke later and I closed it with some linked spares and packed up later with another XXX. THen on the later frames I went a bit too fast. =[ SO my hollow masl broke and I threw a 7. Looked up, 199. I was like ahhhh!!! =X But 199 not bad already for me. =]
I managed to break my habit for the most part today. My average went up, and I was bowling a lot better. Wonderful. So it took 1 day of competition to do it. and I was totally calm today. No nerves at all. Good. Hehs. I had to fight a bit on Mon for the first few games, but I've defeated it today. Totally relaxed. Will keep this up for Tues. =] Mental game is strong too, so I might be bowling a lot better at the end of this learning experience.
After that went to BK with the rest. And camwhored because Azy started it. LOL. I'm considering new ball...how? =S Some random emo pic from ytd. lol someone else with a full set of attire. Lol.
Dammit this is fuckin irritating. I hate this lousy frickin' piece of shit. The bloody computer just went "Internet Explorer has encountered a [FREAKIN] error [AGAIN] and needs to close. [HAHA I'M BEING A JERK OFF]" And I need to reload my Initial D episode again. Nice way to waste my freakin' time. Feel like hitting the stupid thing. Not having a good day in the first place. Fuck.
Today was my shortest day but it turned out to be longer than I thought. Woke up feeling pretty crappy and sat for Bio SPA. Dunno how it'll turn out. Just glad its all over. Bio Skill A is a pain in the ass with all that writing. So much for ACTUAL learning when we just memorise how to mutilate vegetables and mess about with their enzymes. How would YOU like me to cut you up and play with your, I dunno, liver catalase or something? Haha. I didn't have econs case study questions, which were somewhere in the Fourth Dimension(either i lost them or someone collected for me), so I didn't do it.
I just gave up and half-slept through econs, waking up occasionally to copy down the answers which I promptly scrunched up and threw away once I reached home. Oh yeah, I stumbled on the steps during Bio SPA and also flung my phone onto the ground accidentally in Econs lec. =.= Left the lec half dead. Chem lec, didn't bring the tuto so coped the answers down. GP was stone lesson. Stared at the AQ and wished I were back home sleeping or something.
Bio lec, fouth dimension notes again. Stared at the screen(revision notes actually), and wrote down the essay qns for homework right handed. (I'm left handed =.=) Math lec I was feeling totally wasted so I was half-sleeping again. Took almost the whole period for the lectuter to catch me. Up yours. Don't like the way she teaches. Gah. Hey at least half sleeping allows me to stone and copy notes. As though she has never dozed in lectures before. Bet these people feel so humiliated by getting caught they decide to exact the same punishment on future generations.
Felt royally pissed off and highly irritated at the end of the day. Met up with BenQ. Another kindred spirit. Hah. Like another isomer in the same solution. Went to find Josh. Msged the exco votes to azy. My day was better for a while. They had positive comments on Mugalo. =] Emoed with MP3 the bus ride home. Spent the rest of the afternoon messing about online. No mood for work. After this I'll try to do some stuff. TRY. Haha.
Emo Humor? Lol. I still haven washed the stupid thing off fully. 100% Emo Sling bag courtesy Jasmine. MJC Bowling Tee - $19 Black pants - $35 Vans "Off the Wall" sneakers - $99 Storm Streamline bowling bag - $80 I ALWAYS take photos of him cause he's so darn cute. ^^ The other cute one's in America. =[ Lucky kid. Lol. ...
Yesterday was pretty tiring. Performed below average, but could be worse. Had Swensens with the rest of the team. Ate till I felt like I swalloed a bowling ball. Lol. Then rushed home(stood all the way on the bus) to go for my grandma's birthday dinner. Straight home, bathed, changed, and left. Food was quite good, though I didn't quite stand for stuffing myself twice in one day less than 3 or 4 hours apart.
When I left the restaurant, suddenly both my legs hurt very badly out of nowhere. Even when I sat down in the car and tried all sort of sitting positions they kept hurting like two raging fires centered at my knees and spreading up and down. I thought I probably would have to mis school today if it continued bveing so serious. Luckyily it stopped but only after a very long while. Which was why I slept without going online last night.
Today woke up feeling like crap. Saw the hint of a gloomy day and was like "please let it rain, please let it rain..." Not only is it wonderful emo weather, its cool/cold and great for sleeping/ stoning...haha. I got more than I wished for, which wasn't too day. Amazing downpour when I reached school...combined with blustery winds made for a very COLD wait at the bus stop...lol.
Luckily I have connections. =P I ran into Shawn's friend whom I met on the bus before ( and I dont even know her name! o_O) And she asked if I needed to share an umbrella, so I took the one with this guy who was behind her and I presume he knew her too=\ So I got to school 70% dry. Then I ran into Xiwen who was drenched cos she had to stand outside the bus stop as it was full. =S
Different people kept my work for me...o_O Got some homework to catch up on...but first gotta study for Bio SPA tomorrow. Sigh. Hope I do ok...Saw this set of 2 speakers and 1 subwoofer ($35) I want, but cash is tight. Lol...I try not eating in school next week. Now that training is over, I got an extra $30... but I have to try save as much as possible. If I were rich I'd want: Nintendo Wii PSP Phone with AUTO FOCUS this time. Lol. That middle-high end camera I missed out on that Harvey Norman deal Baby Wolf (bowling ball) 5.1 surround sound speaker system
But of course these are all the extreme if I had infinite amount of money fantasies...the money place where money grows is on trees but banks. Bleah. =[ Meanwhile I need to cut down on everything like mad. Just as well we're stepping down soon...
Need to remember to paragraph more...since the new skin's blog section is narrow. Originally I meant to put the blog section in this whole area, then I realised I had no room for my tagboard. =.= Lol...then I felt this ksin was nice the way it was so I decided to squeeze...=[
Went out to train earlier with Shawn, Jas, Azy, Alvin (J1), and Marcus. Good karma. Got my average. Hmm...should get wnough rest. Had to rush like mad after tuition to meet them in time. Made ANOTHER new blogskin. Will scrap the first new one...lol. Comp tml. When I come back I expect my tagboard to be flooded with good luck wishes. I hope. Gak. =X
[UPDATE] Hahha...new skin. Not the original one I wanted to update but I think this one looks better. The random phrase "chocolatey marshmallow sunshine lemonade" came to me somehow randomly during tuition...o_O Anyhow, I work best with inspiration, and voila! New skin ^^
Saturday, May 12, 2007,
5/12/2007 11:06:00 PM
Thus marks my inconspicious(I don't think this is the word I'm looking for, but I simply couldn't think of the one that was on the edge of my mind) return to the vast realm that is the internet. No remark has been made of my absence, and none shall accompany it should I disappear again. This may be a long post, considering the extraordinary length of my absence this time. Much has happened in the past week, most of which I will have probably forgotten, and almost none of which ever really matter in the Grand Scheme of Things. But this is my private corner of the world, where I pound out my sorrows, frustrations, muses, triumphs, hopes, and failures galore for the eye of the few dwindling readers I still have and am thankful for.
I am in a contemplative mood today.
Part I:Life is complicated. Education is no different. The multitude of things that have occurred to me over the past week have given me pause. Time to stop and think. To wonder. And to contemplate. Being cut off from the internet made realise, well, its a good thing I'm not addicted. I survived well without it, and the compulsion to think "Hey, I must blog this!" or "Hey I must blog that!" disappeared in a couple of days when well, I forgot what I actually wanted to blog about. So I set about doing my work. This new way of blogging combines slices of life, which are pictures taken by me over the past week (in no chronological order) combined with whatever I feel like typing now.
I fell sick. I got through school, and felt extremely tired at the end of every Monday and Thursday, thanks to PE, a long day and training. On Friday(took MC), I took the time to sit down and sort out the stackS! of papers that were in my room. I have approximately close to 20 centimeters of notes, and a foot high stack of JC papers. Coming to JC really was a different experience for me. In fact when I stopped deceiving myself, I found that the truth was I regretted coming to this place. Perhaps the environment wasn't good for a kinda person like me. After all, I am the idiot who gets happy over 12 points although he takes only 6 subjects. Nevertheless, I fought, and managed to scrape through the promos by some divine intervention, I guess. Then it was the people too. Attitude problems, but hey, it takes all types to make a world. What can you do? Get the hell out as safely at possible I guess. Which is why I worry about my grade too. Still my parents don't think I do.
Part II:We all make mistakes. Only some are funnier than others. This came courtesy of Ben. Still, there have been amusing moments in my life here. The few month of MJ were heaven for me. The workload was not all easy, and I still was copying homework virtually everyday, but I was happy. For reasons I shall not disclose. But as all good things come to an end, so did it. I was hard to get up again, and I took damn long for that to happen, but once again, there was an end. In about 2 to 3 months. It was the first time I had felt such a pain, and hopefully it will be the last. Still, life was bearable, thanks to the only good companion I had in the form of Ben whose untouchable lameness was the anaesthetic to the agony that is life here. There was the moment I coped his work and both contained the same gross basic mathematical error he made. I got Mrs Wong's doodle of her fainting and he got the one of her puking blood. Hehs.
Part III:Shit happens. Bad stuff happens, whether you like it or not. I remember the beginning of this year was accompanied by an unnatural spate of horrible bad luck that lasted weeks, if not months. I have no idea where that came from. It was so bad I was half convinced the Powers Above were jerking me around, and I pretty much turned emo. Still, I made it through thankfully. Last week also reaffirmed my belief in Karma, or something like it, because what goes around probably comes around to bite you in the ass. Still, I can't recall doing any great bad deeds before that mysterious streak on unluckiness. A glitch in the balances of the universe? My MP3 died on the the day we had no teacher in class...
Part IV: But Life can also be simple. You can find peace if you know where to look. Like in this uncommon sighting of a hawk near the river. Only a pity it was too far away. Or maybe just a shot of the sky.
Part V: Yet what is the ultimate goal in life? Power? The recent career talk put things in focus, along with what my tuition teacher said. I planned on going into something bio-related, but the field is so competitive and it's not easy to work your way in. Computer related, but my maths is bad, to say the least. The only path left for me to try out is (photo)journalism? I Like taking pictures. And English is, well, used to, be my strong point. I don't know about now. It seems harder for me to find the words I want or to get them together in the way I want too. It's like I don't write like I used to. There's no rhythm, no flow, that I can feel now. Even as I doubt this, I wonder, is my life screwed? What are my other options? Only English is/was my strongest point. Lean on your strongest aspects, they say, but what happens when your strongest is not the mostvalued. THe way I see it, even if the pay's only decent, as long as I like it, I can stick with it. I can only hope there's a future for me.
Part VI:At least there's humor in life I hope. Sometimes you cannot help but feel trapped. I feel like I have somehow disconnected with the rest of the class, maintaining a positive connection with the some of them, but I have dropped off the radar of the rest. A curious sense of being alone and yet not alone. My phone has been silent lately, was it always this lacking of SMSes? What happened to human contact? Yet last month I'm think I exceeded my SMS limit. But to whom? Its like when I deleted the "sent messages", I deleted all record of human contact. The lack of internet enhanced that sense of dislocation somehow on Friday. At least there's humor when you see someone eat THAT with chocolate sauce.
Part VII: Be thankful for your friends. Well at least I'm thankful for the few good friends I have, friends whose company I enjoy, friend with whom to bastard people with and then share the bad karma when it comes along. They help make life a little better. Good friends are the relatives you've never met.
Part VIII:Enjoy the simple pleasures in life. Life's hard enough without you making it worse for yourself. Enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Take time to smell the flowers(perfumes, if you're allergic to flowers) Grab your favourite food, and drop in front of the TV. Take time off from everything. Before you die, that is. I've always enjoyed customising my own ice creams since young. Lot of stuff can be added (especially chocolate!) and the end results can be something that not only looks nice, but tastes great. Life can be like an ice cream. What you get out of it depends on what you add to it. Wasabi ice cream anyone? Cheers.
Sunday, May 06, 2007,
5/06/2007 09:18:00 PM
Hehs. The cheese quiz is cute. =.= the pic won't show up. Would've preferred this though...the pondering the meaning of life applies to me...lol.Tuition was ok today. Went out to study with Elizabeth. Did chem and math homework. Read some 1984 when I couldn't tolerate econs any longer. I forgot to bring out my foolscap and econs notes. =.= The picture quality is so poor its horrendous. I can't figure out why. Unless the goverment have installed some secret device that makes pictures taken in MRT stations become blur. =S School again tml. =\
Spent my day doing homework, and watching Initial D. Nothing much else. Played with the webcam a bit. I realised I can see the new ferris wheel in marina bay from my house. Cool. Lol. Sigh. Tuition tml. Ending of the weekend. 1984 is getting nicer.
Doublethink? Right know I don't even know what to think. Sigh
Wow. I havent blogged for 3 days? Seems pretty long to me. This might be a long post, considering it's got 3 days worth of stuff. In chronological order...Tues.
Went for Spiderman 3 on Tues. Movie was awesome. ^^ I loved it. Sure is great to meet up with them again. Went with Shawn, the twins, YM, and Suyi. Then later went to Earle Swensens to eat. I think it's sort of like Swensens upsized and with upsized deco and price too. A high-class Swensens. Lol.
Mugging Madness. Popcorn! Er...the toilet sink is very cool? I think I've never seen it before cos I never use the cinema toilets after movies...usually always full. This time there were very few people using. Maybe they used the popcorn boxes cos they were afraid to miss a single moment of [spoiler]WHEN SPIDERMAN DIED TOGETHER WITH VENOM[/spoiler] haha just kidding. =P I went to the salad buffet and got...toast, cheese, beef, mushrooms, bacon bits, biscuits, grapes and watermelon. my random no-link salad. Lol. Nice lights. ^^ And this is how shawn eats grapes. Team 3 First frame. So pretty right? =X Lol. Rainy morning on Thurs. Nice cool weather. School as usual. Evening on the bus home. Chem homework. Now that was TOO MUCH chemistry. Makes you weird. Emo picture. =] Thrusday training. Long day. Rushed back to study bio. Lol I think this was done yesterday in chem tuto also. Do I have violent tendencies or what? A nice treat after school. I love to make my own ice cream. =P
Got the web cam today. Pretty cool. Been wanting one for very long and finally got it. ^^ Anyway, today the crappy idiotic cattle transporting network, oops, public transport system really made my day. As the bus was apeproaching school, I hit the bell and went down the stairs. Two steps down, I heard the doors close. Took and peek and scrambled up to hit the bell again. Guess what? I press ed it and the fool of a driver drove off. I nearly WTF?!?!?!ed in front of everyone. I wanted to yell at the damn bugger. Stupid ass. I had to walk back one stop. Luckyily I was early today. =.=
Then after school, waited close to 20 mins for a bus. Then a 53 pulled in with an 89 on its tail. I walked to the end of the bus-stop which I tihnk was PRETTY OBVIOUS IT MEANT I WANTED TO BOARD, but NOOOOOO the driver sped by without pausing to even look at the bus-stop. An astonished "fuck?!" left my mouth as I gaped at the idiot at the helm of that bus speeding gaily away, leaving a dumbfounded me in this wake.
Then I started cursing and swearing at the bus stop. After totally wasting 85 mins of my life on two preety useless periods of CLB (partially because I didn't bring my notes) when others were already at home, I simply wanted to get back and just be dones with all the burdens of the week. And now this. Totally pissed me off. Thankfully another 89 cames just minutes later (I was preety sure I'd have to wait half an hour...) whereupon I bumped my head against the front of the bus when it suddely started off before I'd even sat down. Bah. Finally. I blogged. Lol.
Oh yeah. Its great we all get webcams. Now all Meridians are interconnected! And they can control our minds using that evil chip they planted in the cams that can alter our brain waves and make us mug involuntarily. =P Or maybe its just so that we can still go to "school" in case bird flu breaks out. Everyone will just attend lectures done by webcam, when a lecturer can use a random select program to pull up a student's webcam feed and he/she will have to answer a question. Tutorials will also be done this way, and the teacher will have a mosaic view of 20 over webcams feed, and he/she can zoom in on any of them to see if they've done their work or are listening. A nudge function will also be included where a high pitched note will be screeched through their speakers and the window will shake, a la MSN nudge so as to wake up sleeping students. Mugging activities will continue at Mugland while a bird flu pandemic rages outside killing hundreds of thousands, and we will all get As while the rest all suffer because not all have webcams or mics and cant go to school MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Such is the evil greatness of this plot hatched between MJC AND Qmax and Creative. ^^
Won't be blogging today...need to catch up on work after mugging for Math and Chem and having to contend with training. I will blog tomorrow I guess. Tomorrow training at Yishun again. Meanwhile, do the test in the last post or something...only 1 person? o_O
This pic is very meaningful and yummy. Lol. Took it while mugging.
Terence dismantling our 3 bowling bag so they only form a dibagtide not a polybagtide.
Er. off focus camera.
Life!
Life.
My mum got this at Vivocity. Queued for 30 mins on a Monday afternoon. o_O
Now come the pics taken on A div days. Mainly consist of very candid shots of various people sleeping. Haha...
Ha! We found specs thicker than yours, Shawn!
Alvin looks great in that hat. xD
Some old desolate and creepy ghost town of a shopping mall located at the back of Shaw Towers where Ben got his earphones.
Pepper Flakes in Water
Some old desolate and creepy ghost town of a bowling alley. At least until the dinner crowd arrive.
Galvyn getting attacked with fat plastic tubes at the National Stadium. ^^
